Tweets from 2009

It is the first. I will shave!

I have shaved, but not very thoroughly. My moustache is now catching up with my beard though, so that is good news.

@JSlayerUK you have an android phone? wow, is it very good? I want to replace my n95 in a while but the g1 didn't look too mind-blowing.

snow!

We have the ingredients. Club sandwich time.

club sandwich ruined by weirdo bread.

just destroyed my mouth with an insane madras

tesco value cookies are a bum deal

Writing corny narrative for the game.

I have really slow reactions. Apparently the mean is 180-200ms, I consistently get around 440ms.

making pleasing progress on the game

@JSlayerUK Not just you. I tend to think I'm pretty fantastic, and I find writing cover letters impossible too.

Scone success! Clotted cream and everything.

Walktall just sent me a sale email with just size 13 shoes in it. Clever thinking!

no sir, I don't think I am a fan of sweetmeal biscuits

I don't know when it became OK to put chorizo on a hamburger, but I certainly wasn't consulted

interactive timeline snow map! yes! http://is.gd/iwTS

worked out how to do the theorem prover, will code tomorrow.

well, technically it's tomorrow. couldn't sleep, and got it working first time!

flat out do not understand my grammar parser. Might have to rewrite it.

turns out my logic thing wasn't as good as I thought. I've rewritten it the proper way, and the grammar thing is still getting on my nerves.

@JSlayerUK practically every little village in northumberland has a shop with one in the window. They reappeared a few years ago, dunno why.

watch Ketch! and Hiro-Pon Get It On on iplayer. Very funny but so arty.

vanishingly little progress made today, still getting the new grammar thing to do everything it needs to

finished new grammar system!

today I had a serrano, monterey jack and mayo sub. It was ok!

is some kind of programming god

http://www.txbeef.org - tex-mex recipes galore!

@aperfect was that on mac or pc?

"the joy of sex education" arrived today, rated 18. Progress!

staring at the Koala Survivor, so happy

@JSlayerUK marcus brigstocke had a go with the late edition but he didn't have anywhere enough good writers to make it work.

loooves the snow

@brittneybean wow! my wongo-tall-guy chair cost about £400, but uni disability support paid for it. I'll look on ebay when it breaks, thanks

finished marking. 3 1/4 hours! Some students' handwriting is like a child's scrawl.

@kenfodder shouldn't you be using diary instead of twitter?

the exciting bossa nova samba rhythms are still my favourite albums

it is in fact The Bossa Nova: Exciting Jazz Samba Rhythms

got to write a new font system because hardware-filtered scaling looks awful

9pm and I still haven't made my dinner

@aperfect making a hilarious attempt at meatballs following the old fashioned cookbook

meatballs would've been nice if I'd had a real tomato sauce. At least they were cooked.

New font thing works! Still a programming deity.

@aperfect you and alisha's attic, sheesh

working on new fencing bit, dude is already comical

bad mood = dominos

cutting the vitruvian man into bits for a skining experiment

sorting out my eejit flatmates' energy bill affairs

@kenfodder heh, you mean there isn't someone at twitter judging every picture?

@aperfect that can not be good for you

so much traffic. What's the deal,geordies?

just realised I haven't looked at b3ta in weeks!

"Kangaroos are not terrifying. This is why so many tourists are mauled by them."

@brittneybean just say 'BFF' a lot. They love it.

I recant all opinions I have held of PG Wodehouse

trying to decide how to draw fencing dudes

I'm sure radio 4's late night schedule is designed to instil existential doubt

new series of one! radio 4! listen!

I now own three different sets of compasses. I might have a problem.

@aperfect wow, where?

this student has narrated every one of his thought processes on his homework. I do not need diagrams explaining how to read numbers!

or a reminder of the values of hexadecimal digits on EVERY QUESTION

just destroyed my nose with too much onion in coleslaw, and destroyed my spare ribs with too much heat

playing jumpman lives! loving it

@aperfect damnit!

I'm going to read some more Jeeves. Nothing else is presenting itself for my attention.

@GreyAlien no way, skidracer has just offered to help with music for the game!

on a seaside adventure. Blyth beach is lovely and calm, like the kind of thing you'd find on a model train set

lovely sand at blyth. Don't know why newbiggin felt they needed new sand. How different can it be just a couple of miles up?

wind's beginning to pick up

spent an educational 15 minutes driving through blyth town centre following signs for bedlington.

now at cambois beach. Not much here apart from a pair of wind turbines sticking out of the ocean like neptune giving us jazz hands

had to drive through blyth power station to get here by the way. Don't know if it still exists, but it felt like i was becoming its fuel

there is a big ol' pipe at cambois which spews out sewage, and a dogging site where gays, it would seem, are not welcome

first sensation that welcomed me to newbiggin-by-the-sea was the smell of dog poo. Let's see if i can see that statue

these kinds of things are meant to be engineering marvels, not sensible compromises given situational constraints

RNLI were washing out their shed. Nice and warm here, pity about the rest of it

took the wrong turn off the coast road but ended up at QE2 country park. Lovely! It's got swans and a big lake and things.

arrived at druridge bay country park. Not the same thing cp druridge bay itself! Leaving, lovely scenery but no way i'm paying and displayin

was enticed to hauxley by a nature reserve. Lovely place! Good georgian buildings. Seem to have found the coast again.

brought a moleskine to write in but i'm using twitter instead. Which is more pretentious?

just noticed shozu hasn't been geotagging anything since blyth! Arr

failed to exit Amble pointing in the correct direction, hungry, clouds arrived, so I've come home

had a flash of inspiration for fencing controls

I concede defeat to this bug. It has me absolutely baffled, and is a show-stopper

fixed the bug! stupid y axis, hiding from me

@arowxGames another blitzer from the north-east! (I'm warpy on the bb.com forums btw)

@aperfect the internet is a scary place

at the barber's. Thought i might hit the lunchtime rush but apparently there's no such thing in pity me

@JSlayerUK I once accosted tony benn in the street at the miners' gala. he is a funny person

game is back on track. Had a brainwave

a whole month until the f1 starts! can't wait

@GreyAlien well done! Is 64bit support for the bigfishgames app in the works so I can try it out?

@GreyAlien I clicked that, but then the installer says "failed to open file for writing" for every file

@GreyAlien maybe just store tiny black/white pixmaps of each character, and apply effects at install/run time

@GreyAlien actually, just remembered my dad wrote the first ever kanji gui. I'll ask him how he did it

@GreyAlien if you're around, get latest github version of game, exciting new gameplay!

man, the end of being human was such a let-down

this student writes like a 4-year-old! getting on my nerves

@JSlayerUK congrats! what's the job?

there's a glaswegian on the news who used to drink 14 bottles of wine a day. Top Glaswegian!

Decimal Mod http://tinyurl.com/bgktac only way to play quake 3!

exploring bold new directions for bacon in cafe royal. Confit bacon - words can not describe the taste. My pants can

What is the deal with shoe shops only stocking up to size 9?

@sciencefest I've just discovered I'm in London the weekend of the makerfaire. What other sciencefest events do you recommend?

Curry sauce in the fridge has acquired to kill with a single taste

http://twitpic.com/1tlew - Check out me new clogs

Set off to work on time for once! Let's see if i can remember to do all my to dos

My new shoes are absolutely killing me. I can't feel my ankles any more

I like a lot of chocolate on my biscuit, and I have joined the Club

@sciencefest thanks, I've booked tickets to see the ig nobel thing!

Why are there vastly more boy ducks than girl ducks?

@NewcastleCC I'm reading The World of Jeeves by PG Wodehouse. I had avoided it for far too long. #wbd09

problems in my life: cold apples out of the fridgew

@JPickford is that in reference to the thing about boy ducks? I can't begin to see the connection between those things.

about to leave for tutoring. parked my car in an improbably small space last night, hope someone moved

reading candide again, had forgotten how completely bonkers it is. Need to increase the madness in the game

@naomzzb twitter's for, like, not msn but not email either. It grows on you.

"someone took a note in the face" - awesome dream which had a bubble bath explosion in it

"Brawn GP"? Really?

Pretty Lights is good music

WH Smith : now world of compasses, with protractor land

fat jazz man is singing! What a beautiful sight.

the new city library has those horrific metal slats across it like the life car park! Nice inside though

i guite enjoyed the yoko ono thing at the baltic

back at home, having a wonderful day

the new bbc weather thing keeps forgetting where I live

@aperfect here's a controversial thought for you - I think sunday morning might be my favourite track on tragic kingdom

@GreyAlien care to share?

@kenfodder yes! I love that advert too!

had a brainwave - use syllogisms in philosophy game

reading about tableau methods for proving first order logic theorems.

I've made an executive decision to get the htc magic, just need to wait a month for it to come out!

@sciencefest I loved eepybird yesterday! my bro took video: http://is.gd/moq3

I am at the limit of human boredom

reading a stats course. This isn't what I signed up for!

@brittneybean so they're saying the business world needs fewer people who understand finance? What?

PhD application submitted!

@aperfect are you thinking of starting a magazine?

stayed up far far too late last night, and downstairs were having a crazy loud party.

http://media.shozu.com/cache/portal/media/16b8a8/285213064 - 07032009179

@ShoZu just tried out twitter uploads, couldn't the url be shorter, something like tw.shozu.com/shortkey ? The truncated long url looks odd.

oh no! just remembered I was going to pick up my marking today, so I don't have to do it at the weekend! disaster plan!

random old lady just sat down opposite me in starbucks. She hasn't said a word.

pooped. Need burgers

in gbk!!!

just had a fantastic chicken melt and ice chocolate in caffe milan in kensington

@JSlayerUK it's been done, sorry

what? greek student has got his greek letters wrong. THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN AND WE WILL ALL FALL OFF!

@theyellowstereo I'm still getting 503 errors intermittently

@Martinmagnusson your concept game looks a lot like what I've been doing lately! I'd be interested to find out details of what it's doing

@aperfect did you like it?

@Martinmagnusson http://www.somethingorotherwhatever.com but the relevant stuff isn't up there yet. check out Trader though

just spent an hour and a half helping two guys with dendrograms. You may ask what they are. I did.

energy madness continues!

no idea what to do with my tutee today. Just printed out yet another past paper

getting my code repository back in order, should all be in one place now

@aperfect A Camp sucks and you suck

@kenfodder you could use street view in conjunction with geocoding diary entries - eg I went here to eat, visited dude at this place etc.

@aperfect that's why I use twhirl

why is it always the goths who are out enjoying the sunshine in the middle of the day?

my feet are quite perfectly perched out the window and to move them would reduce my enjoyment of the day considerably

making dendrograms of 2d points. Can't think what to do with them yet

aahh what is going on today? just reopened the code I was working on, and the file is blank!

@komiga luckily, I'd put it on the code archives when I finished it. On reflection, it's completely useless to me, so no problem!

100% free of ideas

I have died laughing listening to the letter 25 minutes into this week's bugle

so many of the daily rituals at the start and end of radio 4 seem like they were conceived expressly for the purpose of disseminating codes

I revise: the morning is for nuclear submarine launch codes, the night schedule is designed to make you doubt the worth of existence

@nilium I always thought nicholas cage was on a quest to become a dadaist self-parody

back to twitterfox, twhirl keeps forgetting what buttons do

techno-madness continues. I think my phone problems were down to the pagefile counting as free space, so it actually didn't have any spare

ahhh pepsi have changed the shape of their ringpulls my world is collapsing please help

the squirrel just dug something massive out of the ground and ate it on the fence. He seems much less rascallous now.

I am an intellectual wasteland. What to do?

hello what is this? Two of the Cowards in a programme called "Brave Young Men", on iplayer now.

listening to Na Na Ni by Fredrik, very cool

@blitzbasic Function a(n)
Return n=1 Or n*a(n-1)
End Function
Print a(5)

@blitzbasic better! Graphics 99,99
Local x#,y#
While 1
a=MouseX()*4
x=Abs(x+Cos(a)) Mod 99
y=Abs(y+Sin(a)) Mod 99
DrawRect x,y,1,1
Flip
Wend

@GreyAlien hah, I spend 10 minutes solving that guy's problem and writing out a nice explanation, and you beat me with "google it"!!

the first google suggestion for "how to use" is "how to use a condom"? get it the right way round??

finally working on picaresque again

@JSlayerUK sounds like me yesterday

the BPA is good music

@JSlayerUK I rampaged and destroyed sundries in my room

first picaresque commit in about three weeks!

@kenfodder that is like the stereotypical geek thing

@GreyAlien yeah, rub it in

@GreyAlien just had a look at my old bb.com posts, didn't realise you'd been stakling me for so long!

SOCKCESS! found a matching pair, so happy

http://tinyurl.com/ch9hqt - Love my new vans -

@aperfect do you want national trust membership again this year? the renewal letter's just arrived

yeesssss! I have conquered my radio watch! now both bits tell exactly the right time! today is a good day

maths is like the best JML product ever - every topic ends with 'but wait, there's more!'

no news make cp go crazy

@GreyAlien that had better not be a dig at me!

oh my god this dude has written more words criticising my article than I wrote in the original! http://tinyurl.com/d9dtge

@aperfect not up here, it's quite gloomy

pulled a muscle in my back while eating a bacon sandwich.

tesco chocolate sandwiches are my new favourite biscuit

what is the deal with sourceforge deciding it doesn't exist?

@nilium I was just looking at it, and then it didn't exactly stop responding but it won't load either. dns resolves, but no progress is made

@rossturk it stopped responding for a while. I was looking at it, then it stopped responding, but dns resolved fine and other sites worked

yahoo maps is so awful. flickr geotagging could be so much more useful

that shreddies hunger monster has started drumming on my tummy. Should've locked hunger up til lunch!

@aperfect I really can't see OnLive working

@aperfect looking space, ha! you've cropped even more of it off

@fatfieldfoodie hello!

@brittneybean take pictures! this will be a defining moment of our times!

shaved on the 1st!

finished the chocolate sandwiches, oh no!

wrote shunting-yard algorithm in blitz; it worked first time. Glad!

I flat out do not understand what it is hamilton and mclaren did.

why does washington smell of fish?

at dad's, he hasn't even been in the shower yet.

headphones don't fit my sprocket! Can't listen to the bugle, bummer

@aperfect you've changed, man

@kenfodder I'm having trouble at the moment trying to pay my final bill for scottish power. Shoddy business!

@aperfect massive hp touchsmart for £500 in fenwicks! Not good for nana but good deal, no?

@aperfect was 979 but it was returned and had a tiny bit of trim missing, otherwise mint condition

got my media player auto playlist working again, and I am listening to good music once more! happy day

wmp has started playing the next song down in the playlist, while claiming to be playing a different track

@aperfect was 979 but it was returned and had a tiny bit of trim missing, otherwise mint condition

gosh it's hot!

at the blacksmith's in belsay having poached egg and ham

mmmmmmmm

new red dwarf is not bad!

made Blitz on Rails

ping pong season is open!

incredibly, starbucks is still open

oh no, it's closed

is there an opposite of esprit d'escalier? I remembered something I said yesterday and thought it was exactly the right thing to say

got my PhD offer!

@arowxgames look at the list of people following @blitzbasic

@Martinmagnusson thanks! it's at newecastle university, same as my undergrad, on decision problems in group theory

@arowxgames what is it?

@arowxgames looked to me like the small one was on top of the big one. the light would be refracted on the inside one, which is hard to do..

this week's newswipe is good

oh dear, the bbc have used the same stock snake image twice in two different stories

oh, long-winded student! I haven't missed you at all!

long-winded student no.2 has managed to constrain himself to 3 times the average!

@arowxgames I take it that's not a 24hour clock?

I dislike students who use cheap paper

uncomfortably farty after a piri piri pizza

ethics: is it right to give arbitrary marks for copied answers in the hope that the one who gets fewer marks complains?

"The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire" - fantastic! She worked hard to get all that alliteration

my car's been broken into!

and then I locked myself out of the flat

wasted 8 quid on stronghold. too german-autistic for me

in fact, that's not my problem with it. It just has a rubbish interface and doesn't draw me in at al

going to have a go at 3d

@aperfect for example http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/ ?

I try not to be one of those people, but i'm sitting on my back step playing french radio and writing in a moleskine

hewwo! iplayer hd! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8008886.stm

wow it's good! I might stop watching normal telly

just had a girl at the door asking for Bruce and Conrad. Who's called Conrad these days, and why can't he give proper directions?

just learned that the doctor at the end of the street is called Konrad Conrad. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?

@JSlayerUK I was just last night trying to decide who I should vote for next time. I think labour are out unless they calm down about terror

@GreyAlien I'm working on the game again!

there is/was a mathematician called Houshmand! That settles it, my next pet/child has its name

there is no finer roll than the sub

got a headache from writing too much rad code

http://tinyurl.com/db2qmj - Discovered a whole new bit of jesmond dene!

got up and ready nice and early for work then remembered it doesn't start until next week!

Lucy Schwartz is perfect

tomato soup time!

I made a mistake - it was tuna sub time

one day I will remember the bit of code I keep commenting out first time

empty google reader for the first time in months. I am at the limit of nothing-to-do-tude

I am so massively sweaty

I can not understand how anyone could like puff pastry

just spent 30 minutes refuting a student's nonsense

just pulled a ferrari - wrong clothes for the weather

massively bored. Nobody comes to maths aid on sports wednesday!

so nobody came in for the whole three hours, then ten minutes before leaving time a torrent of people with really hard problems appeared!

xkcd has got a bit better lately

ruddy southern builders, coming up here and taking jobs from honest hardworking geordies

I will stop complaining about my graphomanic student when he stops giving his working in triplicate

why has every single student chosen the same "random" number for their encryption?

I just sneezed! Seems one of the many possible disease vectors I've encountered lately has given me swine flu

what a rip. the htc magic is £50 more in the vodafone shop than the vodafone website

parmageddon! thanks to ben goldacre for correctly naming the current disaster

o2 need to hurry up sending my PAC code

got my pac code! had to ring up for it again though

overshot by 45 minutes again at maths-aid

@fatfieldfoodie two students came in wanting their whole course explaining so I couldn't leave until 2.45

Magiiiiiiic!

@kenfodder that is fantastic!

I will have to accept that this phone is going to get a lot of food on it

Wikitude is mind-blowing

Best game so far on android is buka

@ToonLibraries how do the music download stations work? are they for music in the library or are they just ways of accessing web music shops

@aperfect they've always done us maps

@kenfodder but it's been leveraged to be much more useful!

@aperfect you also won't get to servant live game because there's no way I'm going with you

@fatfieldfoodie my winner phone can play iplayer anywhere, unlike yours!

any suggestions for a text message noise? the goat is getting old

K-9 news was making my phone really slow, and I've now found the real email app so all is good

@JSlayerUK there are plenty of non-superhero comic book characters

At the race for life, hyperdosing might cure my colourblindness

The crowd goes wild as cp gets the Frisbee down from the tree by throwing the stick with a rope attached over it and pulling on the rope

A totally rank smell has appeared in my room, no idea where from

Chris waddle has a mondo crazy accent

saw a kid in wh smiths wearing a "white pride is not racism" t shirt. nice.

daaaamn! I forgot flight of the conchords was on tonight

making a sort of object database thing with lazy evaluation

long-winded student is the bane of my existence

I was just thinking about eyepatches and then i saw a girl with an eyepatch

helped a zimbabwean lady pick a mouse

having a technology nightmare

oh my god I love the smell of PVA

@JSlayerUK good luck!

couldn't even park on my own street!

@JSlayerUK no chicks?

who likes lo-fi music? what do these people look like? I don't understand.

another uninspiring emusicsmas. can anyone recommend some good new summery music?

writing nonsense on big paper

it's socks o'clock, time to go outside while it's sunny

oh wow, they're still updating rinkworks.com!

bought the settlers for my phone. it's not the game I know and love!

that pizza has had its awful revenge

the singleton design pattern as applied to socks: a case study. c perfect, 2009

one day I will think of a way of taking a book to the park without also having to take my big backpack

gosh heaton park's a lovely place

this dude next to me is not afraid to get his hands dirty in order to get the most out of his rolo choc pot

@aperfect but then I'll be a poser because it's an obscure classic

@aperfect oh no! tragedy!

FINALLY cracked my elbow! sweet relief!

said 'good morning!' to some poachers in the park. very agreeable chaps

minor achievements in a dog's life: picking up all of your toys at once

@aperfect spymaster is a pretty straightforward click-em-up. I've got am idea for a much better twitter game

@aperfect crouton

@aperfect tinny

@aperfect attain

shut up, gordon brown!

it's hard to plan meals when it's so hot

yellow doesn't go with green, does it?

@kenfodder it's been the same here for a while, thanks to the RIP act

@brittneybean they're great! the video for 'multiplayer' is ace

@aperfect cool new show at the design museum, according to front row

continuing my quest to clone ruby on rails in blitzmax, I've made an http server and the clever routing system

so massively chuffed with myself for making this http server work

the usb in my laptop has died, maybe it'll come back

saw a woman jogger with massive teeth as she ran past, she spoke American

just had an epic question answering session with a lady from the office of national statistics

@GreyAlien so that'll be two books then?

just found opening-times.co.uk. it's like isabevigodadead.com for sainsburys

textile has horrible syntax and I should've stuck with reST

on the flowchart of which animals avoid which other animals, apparently there is no route between me and bunny rabbits.

finally joy my B-tree algorithm working, after deciding to ignore the weird academic explanations and look at pretty graphs

@aperfect man, that sounds like exactly what I'm making

@aperfect David eddings has died!

I think one of yesterday's socks is stuck in my trousers but I'm in waitrose. and I can't check

man, no sock. what is this odd sensation in my pants?

phew,my xbox is still in warranty

the ups collection address form has a 'shire' field, below 'street' but above 'county'

dreamt that a geordie accentuate was the most efficient way of speaking

on my way to hexham for some cowboy kettle chili mix

going to have a look at hadrian's wall now

at chesters cavalry fort. rain can not touch god's own Northumberland, the weather is glorious

English Heritage is a total rip.

TCP and burnt tomatoes are on opposite ends of my smells preference spectrum

everyone is uncomfortably full after chili con queso

oh no spicy burps!

dare to dream: room revolution '09 in progress

@GreyAlien happy birthday! Hope you had a good one

Every time I walk into my room it cheers me up, now I've rearranged it

I'm not a fan of this belly any more, going to get rid of it

Rival teams of ticket inspectors arguing on the platform about who gets the next train

I walked straight past whitley bay because I've only been there when it's dark, and when I got back I managed to walk to monkseaton station

I need something to do

I find it so much easier to sketch with massive permanent markers than with normal sized pens

Just bought a bunch of pens, but not enough to justify a carrier bag. Now walking through heaton looking like I've got double thigh cancer

Man, I got a bum deal on these pens. Not going to that shop again

Going to attempt mulligatawny soup for the first time.

I love the gordon brown impression in 'the secret world' on radio 4

I've been stuck at home all morning trying to establish what's wrong with the phone wiring

MS sent me a brand new xbox with a new warranty and a month's free xbox live. Nice!

http://s3fm.co.uk/permanentbedtime mmmmm

Paid a fiver to go on the worlds tallest spinny thing at the hoppings. Well worth it!

Going to tynemouth farmers market, probably won't make it back for qualifying

Just noticed that all the signs at wallsend metro are in Latin

Bought some top food and might just make it back for the end of quali

Loving some Munk while I install the new windows

forgot it was emusicsmas. This day gets better!

This 'real Cumberland bacon' is the saltiest thing I've ever eaten

What does one eat at kfc? I think we're going to get some

Finishing off the world's saltiest bacon by making a BLT pizza

@androidandme Google chrome has blacklisted your site for apparently hosting malware. Might be to do with your new host?

I miss sitting outside in my pyjamas on a sunny day

Wow, the chaser's war on everything is on bbc four at ten tonight. Ace!

Why does the whole of kingston park smell of rich, melting chocolate? I am losing my mind to desire

@beefok strewth, that's a grim thing to post about

Playing battlefield heroes, have yet to see the Nazis lose

at dad's house, comparing phones. Mine is clearly loads better, why won't he admit it?

Bought a maths book that was 198 years old for a fiver at tynemouth book fayre. Fascinating!

Just dominated battlefield heroes. Feeling pretty special

Accidentally made a massive omelette instead of a normal one, to go with my chips and onion rings. It's full of bacon as well

@alimcg86 I know how it feels! that's what I have to pay whenever I want shoes.

three pigeons and a blackbird having fun in a puddle; cp not welcome

Where's the thunder storm the bbc insisted would be arriving during my constitutional? I could still be out there in the glorious sunshine!

Not a fan of the beetle having a kip on top of my (sealed) bag of chicken

Can't believe how unbalanced the snipers are in bfh

Phone was in sun; put phone in pocket; leg is burnt

@canwegoclub I prefer to think of it as a tax on optimists

@canwegoclub I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life, so I'll be more shocked than you if I win

Had a lovely day at the beach with Leo and Gabi

Leo just spotted an engraving error in the 1986 entry on the Wimbledon champions board. Top spotting!

@eqdynamics I don't think he's on twitter

God I love being out in the rain

At the hospital, dad is negotiating the terms of his release with the consultant

Just finished Michael Frayn's Collected Columns, which I enjoyed a lot

@aperfect what have you bought?

@JSlayerUK What happened? My mum wants to know

Saw a blackbird with some white feathers. How did that happen?

@nilium it wasn't an albino, it just had a few patches of white

The steak caesar salad at cafe royal owns me

I'm very confident that the channel 4 comedy sponsor guy bust now be the most hated man in Britain

Adam is fluffy traveller of the month July 2009

in America! We had dinner then lunch on the plane, and now it's 8pm local time. Do we need dinner again?

Jackson Hole is a really cool place

On the way to yellowstone!

In Cody, Wyoming. Scared by the patriotism and the guns and the Fox News. Hope the food is good

Oh no, Adam has started snoring! If I wanted to listen to that, I would've gone on holiday with dad

Spare ribs at Ted's Montana Grill was the best meal in America

Aaargh, the f1 sounds like an amazing race and I can't watch it in yankytowne!

Enjoyed the baseball quite a bit. My Rockies won, or rather, Adam's Giants lost

back in England, with stories for all and gifts for some!

SEVENTY TWO EMAILS? Never leaving the house again

real dairy milk is better than almost everything I ate in america

I have parked in BMWland. And I'm half an hour early for the flight. I blame Leo

@AndyOvine har har funny

@GreyAlien you sound like one of the fat cats from a looney tunes cartoon, endlessly monologuing the flow of money

Sat down for fish and chips in saltburn ready to enjoy an honest English meal and I was given an American can of coke! There is no escape!!!

"what a fun, sexy time for you"

A robin just flew into my room, close enough for me to grab it if I'd wanted. Was it on a dare?

Aahc 4od is stuck in an endless advert loop. The 3 comedy guy is the worst person in the world

Arrived at the Gite, and the TV only gets British channels. WHAT.

@aperfect what does that mean?

just did a little bike ride on the gite dude's road bike. Less comfortable than riding a horse

if pigs could fly, would the wings be the tastiest part?

The number of French magazines with bare breasts on their covers is astonishing. Quite a few are hardly relevant to the subject matter at al

I love the new mstrkrft album

new cabinet magazine! Just renewed as well, and I can't believe how cheap it is for what you get.

@aperfect nana says there's a jazz festival in canary wharf this weekend

Walk on the Wild Side is very funny

@mmm_newcastle would you be able to stock Jardine's Cowboy Kettle Chili? I've only ever found it in hexham waitrose and can't afford the gas

my Eternal Knee Rash has just started itching. I feel like a Pompeiian at the foot of a Vesuvius which has just started rumbling.

@badmachinery I hope the new comic includes more irishisms, that was funny

really wish 4od would give me the benefit of the doubt when skipping past ads; I'm stuck in a loop of the I Hate The Three Guy Show

@aperfect no!

yyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss! Winning a gold medal on Trials HD Hill Climb has pleased me more than my A Level and GCSEs combined. PRIORITIES!!

@arowxGames oh go on then, can I haveva password? Got to help local industry and all that...

@arowxGames ooh didn't see it, it was in my junk folder. Forget the email you just got

@arowxGames I can't download the exe, it gives a 404

@aperfect mum just told me not to bother celebrating wins because newcastle aren't in a real league

I have a flat! A ruddy expensive flat, though

Sitting in maths aid, no customers, bored silly

@mmm_newcastle my little brother says king naga chilli should never be eaten by anyone ever. He warned me at one point he was about to pop!

Hopesolutely

Why is there an Australian lady doing the public announcements on the metro?

@chiefchimpanzee I hope your Edinburgh show went better than that joke

@chiefchimpanzee it was actually quite clever, I was trying to think of something like the agency thought it was for the other newcastle...

@aperfect innteellliiimoooooouuusseee

arrgh, spelunky is so hard!

This week's walk on the wild side was brilliant!

Finally watched The Lives of Others, great film to watch on your own

Saw an old lady with an eyepatch. She was parrrtially sighted.

Ahhh radio 4 please stop picking books at bedtime which are all about people dying

I can see the bt man fiddling with the exchange. Maybe my internet is getting activated now and not this morning like they claimed!

New word - phtissitation: the realisation that the fruit you have been allowing to ripen for several days is completely tasteless

this woman on the metro looked alright ten minutes ago, but she's *still* putting makeup on. Know when to stop, orange lady!

aagh, why won't my heating turn on?

Nyooooooo: the sound I made when the anonymous youtube link I clicked on turned out to be titled "Kick-boxing leg break"

I am a mathematical god! Proved recursion with parameter substitution is primitive recursive all on my own, bet you couldn't do that.

going for a walk along the Tyne. South Shields actually looks quite appealing from a distance. Must be a crazy sea mirage

This sketchy pub is playing some really cool 60s lounge jazz. I think if I went in they'd ask what space age material my shoes are made from

I like grabbing my big toe with all the little toes on my other foot. I feel like a monkey

trying to buy some new disposable fountain pens and discovering office supply companies' ridiculous delivery fees

Adventureland was like a good Garden State

@kenfodder except the link doesn't have a name separate from its destination, and the sets of URLs and files do not overlap

my foppish urban haircut couldn't deal with the grim realities of Tynemouth; it had to go

"this album is turbo sweet"

At one point there were five people trying to work out how to issue me a smartcard and they still managed to spell my name wrong.

Pate on toast has only made me hungrier. Stupid smooshed up animals.

the milling on copella bottletops is painfully sharp

Just walked round to the co-op to buy some meat for dinner and it's been ram-raided or something.

God North Shields is rough. I saw someone get pulled over by the police, a hearse, and was stared down by an old lady crossing the road.

There is a lady selling posh popcorn at stanhope farmers' market. That is past my limit for ridiculous posh food

inadvertently used my fountain pen as a nose flute

yuk, my flat is insect central at the moment

Not only are this year's freshers taller than me, they're better looking too. I blame the labour government.

at the "I think I can see food!" stage, or day 2, of opening this packet of biscuits

just noticed that I get synaesthesia with moments from my life when I think maths

Meena's curry sauces are perfect. There is no better curry sauce.

if the turkmenbashi was still alive, he would put an i in team.

peeled a national front sticker off the metro. Sat and waited til nobody was watching though, not sure why.

why would google maps be smoother in firefox than chrome? Any ideas?

@aperfect disaster! Did they steal any of your crisp wrappers?

dead pigeon outside the nanotechnology lab. Maybe it had a... LITTLE accident?

I think every ingredient in this bacon cheeseburger I'm making has gone off. We'll find out tomorrow!

email from nana "RE: RICH GRANDSON". Rumours of my wealth have been greatly exaggerated.

Not sure how that many snails managed to get on the *inside* of the wheelie bin

@aperfect don't get the pre, get one of the shiny new android phones with a real camera and such

the ending of Charlotte's Web happened onto my car

Grey-haired lady with a nosering: it's repulsive and clearly interfering with your breathing. What's the deal?

Bored bored bored bored. Does anyone need any maths explaining whatsoever? I've been here since 10am!

the secret to lifelong happiness: hide bonus chocolate in your cupboards

Does anyone want to be my walking buddy? Nothing strenuous, just the public footpaths of tyneside

@dumbfirefly I have your background image on a t-shirt!

Tried to make a tuna sandwich; accidentally made tomato soup

How did I not notice the new series of The Thick Of It?

Died on the 26th of October 2009 watching House of Cosbys

@aperfect there's a spotify app as well, which I think your trendy laaaandan payscale can afford

WHERE ARE THESE FLIES COMING FROM?

@nilium not sure about that, they're big fellas

@peterrowlett I have lists too. Your maths one is very useful!

@JSlayerUK Yes, really yes. Unless he works for My Daughter is Wrong Enterprises PLC or something.

Pushchairs five abreast appeared round the corner. What was I meant to do? Your honour, the defence rests

@JSlayerUK all the museums in London closed at 5pm and I thought of you

Why are there so many French people in tynemouth today?

new BOAT album!

What are tynemouth's men wearing this season? Trousers tucked into socks. Chic!

Mum: "if there could be a bonfire, I'd put Roger McGough on it"

@peterrowlett what are you doing in newcastle? That's where I am!

oh my lord that Pie Minister steak and stout pie was exactly what I needed

ahh, tynemouth is a swing seat, might have to vote labour! I want my lib dem protest vote!

@peterrowlett hate to be one of those people, but did you get my email? My boss (Bill Foster) would like to see you as well, if you've time.

going to the lit phil on a reccy

Went to the lit and Phil on a reccy. Maybe I'll join eventually, but not now

Fort Christian has fallen to the Yawns..

Enlightening chat with @peterrowlett about CBAs and outreach, but shouldn't've made him walk the length of the town with all his luggage

@peterrowlett all the routes are scenic up here

aaaah I am doing too many jobs my brain is melting meltinggggggggg

haskell is nice for doing maths programming

@aperfect you are a wrong

@fatfieldfoodie I said the same thing about the cutlery! Didn't like my ceasar salad there either

@GreyAlien once you get the idea it's not that bad. I'm a way away from making a game yet though

3d channel 4 doesn't look very 3d

wow, free access to the cabinet magazine archive online for subscribers! That will occupy me for a long time

trying to work out how to represent pregroups in haskell

argh emusicsmas came too soon, I hadn't used all of last month's credits!

Group structure of a Rubik's cube in a black box with a cat peeling its stickers off, C Perfect, B Tormey 2009

@peterrowlett they're in the building next to mine. Will investigate, thanks. Not so sure it's more mathsy than engineeringy though

tonight I have added all the papers I've ever read to @mendeley_com

why do spiders like crawling up plugholes?

@peterrowlett Green's Theorem! That is an excellent mug! So are they more mathsy now, or was that the extent of it?

really not comfortable with paypal asking for a new security question and password during a transaction

the ticket machine at the station "couldn't connect to the TOD server". What to do?

Glasgow Subway: I banged my head on you; you are too small.

Oh no, the grandparents have started Christmas shopping! Won't get a nice seat on the metro until January now.

mary berry's caesar dressing tastes very sweet and not like caesar dressing, but I like it a lot.

I offer a prize of a tasty cake to anyone who can show a correlation between any economic phenomenon and the appearance of the panpipe dudes

@kenfodder even powershell?

@badmachinery envirocat tote bag arrived today. Probably a rash purchase, but it is very nice and I will heed its message.

left alone in a house full of chocolate treats which are all about to go off. There are only a few ways events can proceed; one is very fun.

really not happy with raindrops falling on me while I'm driving through the tyne tunnel

done a Ferrari again. Should've brought my umbrella and my coat, brought neither and now fearing getting off the metro

@peterrowlett see the maths hall in the science museum, but you already know that. The names of some of the Napier's bones clones are ace!

Keep forgetting I'm working with groups instead of pregroups and making things far too complicated

@peterrowlett gosh you're busy!

oh, the A History of Scotland that's on the iplayer at the moment is a second series! Fun!

@badmachinery what new solange album? it's not on amazon or spotify

£3.50 for digitalriver to "keep a copy of my download of windows 7" in case I need it again. Not totally sure how that works.

@badmachinery oh. That one's good

@badmachinery of course; they are a treasure of humanity, just like the Vedas - http://www.textfiles.com/underconstruction/

@peterrowlett could you remind me of the benefits of MathML wrt accessibility in e-assessment? I need to convince some lazy developers

composed a haiku yesterday, forgot to tweet it, performed it in my dream last night, nobody paid attention IN MY OWN DREAM

I did not know there was a moai in tynemouth

Watching the world's keenest Labrador play catch on the beach. It's inspiring; it should be the warmup act for Barack Obama

Previous Me was so much more talented than I am

Christian's cooking Christmas crinkle cookie cakes!

my front door was open all day!!!

the smell of the ready-meal carbonara in the oven is filling me with disgust. It really doesn't look appetising, but there's nothing else!

@JSlayerUK re itchy palm money: I've been trading in futures and derivatives of it and it all belongs to RBS now. sorry.

aaaaaahh, installing haskell packages on windows is so difficult!

longest game of Civ ever

So have they cancelled my metro or what? I even got to the station five minutes early today, and no dice

@Martinmagnusson no GoodBoy(x) and GoodGirl(y) predicates?

Rrrrrrr rrrrrr rrrrrrr aaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaa rrrrrrrrrr! Bad day

I have cleared out Borders' maths section

uploading 3gb of videos... GCSE to A-Level maths students, watch this space.

@maanow can't believe how long that minutemath took me

just realised I did everything else on my to-do list but forgot to make lunch!

@maanow I did *not* notice that the triangles are right-angled! My solution is so much more complicated.

saw some hare krishna chuggers on northumberland street wearing berghauses. Fairly sure that's not allowed

what on earth are middlesbrough doing at 11th in the championship?

christian's cooking christmas crinkle cookie cakes encore

I just want to sleep in until the today programme finishes!

Today I'm carrying my home-baked cookies in to work in a tote bag I bought off an artist. Come and get me, boys.

70 RSJ maths videos uploaded, titled and described! Hooray!

Ah! There is my snow!

Charles Kennedy looks like ginger hitler

@MarcusduSautoy christmas twitter challenge - can you document the untangling of your christmas lights as a series of reidemeister moves?

could the four-colour theorem be applied to a many-santas scenario so no naughty child up late on christmas eve sees more than one st nick?

tried to be clever making gift tags; instead was disastrously un-so

Got 99 problems but lunch ain't one

@peterrowlett asymptote is a very nice package for getting graphics into latex, though a bit fiddly to set up on windows at first