Tweets from 2010

@AndyOvine that picture is brilliant!

Yeah I'm pretty good at maths

considering reusing my 1kg dairy milk wrapper as a document wallet

getting sick of top gear's weekly "you couldn't make it up!" moment

wheeee I love Michel Legrand's Paris Jazz Piano!

Maths aid is eerily quiet today

Moliere the film is some Grade A trash but I loves it

@aperfect not where YOU are. That's maaaaaaaaaaaths!

" lxgr'l'hyr=lxrlyr, or gr'l'h=rl. " Yep, that's what I do all day. No, I'm not a Klingon.

@JSlayerUK report it to the council and then shake with impotent rage.

FINISHED RIMLINGER!!!!!!!!!!

@aperfect posh new bbc recordings tickets site - http://tinyurl.com/yengu5y

the human condition: it is really difficult to look in someone else's utensils drawer and find the garlic crusher

oh dear, I think I want to switch to analysis. How can I do this without my supervisor noticing?

used my two free hours this morning to clean the house; now I'm too knackered to do anything else

wahey! I'm finally on the first page of google for "christian perfect"! take that, bible fans!

I am going loco trying to conserve kinetic energy in a model of a 2d elastic collision! Aaaaaaah!

complaining about a problem immediately leads to its solution - I had written the kinetic energy formula down wrong

there's this weird foam floating down the street...

I wish the uniqlock was the only thing in the world

Made enchiladas. Forgot to buy sour cream. Food-too-hot haiku.

Not happy about riding a scotrail train in Northumberland. Checked the back for a livestock carriage when I got off.

yep, pretty bored. Where are all the students?

@Gelada what open source computer assessment software would you prefer? I'm in a similar situation

today is like my anti-birthday. So far I've sprained my wrist and my car battery has died. What else could happen?

oh wow, mathjax is exactly what we need! http://tinyurl.com/yfzprsx

Going to see the ny met opera live broadcast at tyneside cinema.

crikey, sunderland really are bad at football, aren't they?

might start one of those harsh photoblogs, called "photos of groups of mathematicians". We are really not photogenic.

The man opposite me looks like a business man but is scrawling on a pad of paper like a complete nutso. Maybe he's just trying out a new pen

Mr accordion busker man, a tip: do not busk with your accordion within earshot of the other accordion busker man

the milling on copella bottle lids is quite sharp. #middleclassstruggle

@aperfect YES

there are not many logician-comedians: "Kleeneliness is next to Gödeliness"

@aperfect there is also wahaca

@peterrowlett must confess I saw it on Wikipedia and couldn't resist tweeting it. Got a few new followers as a result!

@jefferickson could you explain that one please? Are 'Pillsbury' topoi an actual thing or did you put that in to make the joke work?

making a directed semantic graph of the topics dealt with at maths-aid because I take my work too seriously

I've had a pretty fun night making this http://tinyurl.com/yahsvgn

I will call my first son Genre, pronounced "Henry". Thanks, TV!

SENOR DEMANDS NACHOS!!!

@standupmaths I'd say he looks beside himself with anger but I'm not sure how to tell for sure

"Has Elvis left the building? Location of rockstars in non-Euclidean geometries, C Perfect 2010" (inspired by @standupmaths)

I just saw two foxes run across the metro track! Real proper foxes with bushy fox tails and red fox hair and everything!

@kenfodder happy birthday!

just realised I've been reading the wrong paper for the past week! No wonder it didn't say anything like what it was supposed to.

@beefok if you need any help with diff eqs, I'm around

@JSlayerUK you might be low on electrolytes, or salt.

Somebody come to north shields tesco and stop me buying all the posh food please

when I picked this beef steak up I started salivating like a dog. Beef: better than bacon?

never try to explain cantor's diagonalisation argument to your software engineer father

From the looks one the faces of the dudes on the metro, I assumed nufc had lost. I will never understand the toon army

This jazz solo is a bit too real for me. I wonder if the other people on the metro can tell that my mind is being blown to pieces

@JSlayerUK that backslash is to get the LaTeX symbol for pi.

@standupmaths what age range are these kits aimed at?

oh crikey! that is a proper blizzard out there! what's going on?

just peeled a lot of my finger off

reading the worst possible explanation of what category theory is. My enthusiasm is waning

@aperfect fungible micro-products, integer-derived plus-selling. Automatic consensus?

oh lordy I had even forgotten that the TeX for 'times' is... \times !

@peterrowlett that's v interesting! I'm 'disabled' due to asperger's. I'm sure once the new diagnosed cohort go to uni, that % will increase

I've started a blog to write up notes about my research (and practice my LaTeX skills): http://bit.ly/9whxl7

new metric of indie hipness: proportion of shazam tagging attempts that fail

Fell victim to pernicious combinatorics in Boots. If I'd picked up a snack and another six-pack of tissues, it would've cost me a pound less

@rockhyrax does it need radiotherapy?

Mr Efficient is on the metro. He folds his paper in half twice, neatly. He puts it in his satchel in one movement. He wears a scarf.

@Bishnavitch sebastien tellier

Poserphones: noise-cancelling headphones that play the trendy music of the day outwards while you listen to Leona Lewis in total secrecy

Had breakfast at the serpentine bar and kitchen. Very nice!

@JSlayerUK oh wow, that story has it all!

doodle #1 http://brizzly.com/pic/1E5K

A thousand curses on Springer-Verlag and their ridiculous fees for downloadable papers!

yep, walked the wrong way down an escalator.

@brittneybean who collects subscription fees?

aha, a breakthrough! thesis not ruined after all!

@standupmaths say what you like about flog it and its ilk but they're the only format left not to have a "celebrity" version

@standupmaths clearly I don't watch enough daytime telly. I suppose there's been a celebrity edition of Jeremy Kyle as well?

New mathem-o-blog post: Serre's Graphs and Trees (http://bit.ly/caEnl4)

PhD Quest! Your command?
>write paper.
I'm sorry, you don't understand that
>read paper.
>write paper.
I'm sorry, you don't understand that!

@kenfodder "snail mail" always makes me think of Live 'n' Kicking on Saturday mornings

feeling very autistic today. threw a wobbly at the clingfilm because it split down the middle, then walked around the flat humming for a bit

why can't food wait until it's ready to eat before it smells so tasty?

bonza! found a cross country train going to Newcastle that's completely empty. so long, half term kids!

@aperfect nice! I might use that for the outreach website.

Mr Serious is on the metro. He wears a black coat with a reassuring texture. He puts on his black gloves. He likes how warm they are.

@aperfect HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, a box!

@standupmaths wot no reynolds number joke?

crikey, 25% of this paper is the bibliography. Five pages!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I can see the fnords aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

sign me up to www.girlsinwelliesteasingtheirdogwithabunchofseaweedonthebeach.com please

@aperfect you are your father's son

thank you, spotty youth in john Lewis, for finding me chopsticks just before closing time

@kenfodder so it *is* a G!

no way have I caught yet another cold. Have I offended my immune system?

I don't like listening to live recordings on my headphones because they have a reverb as if they're being played out loud

bought two boxes of tissues but left them on the metro. now there'll be a bomb scare *and* I'm still snotty!

@aperfect yep, that link doesn't work for me

@brittneybean because it's for kids and kids like colourful things, viz. the OLPC

chalking up some future maths in OneNote. Draw with pen, scroll with finger, clever handwriting recognition. It's the way of the future!

maybe burger king exploded? there are alarms and Northumberland street smells of beef

made sure not to forget my shopping bag this time; forgot my backpack instead

next time I need to fry an egg I will take it to the new bit of Eldon Square where it is hot enough for that to happen

@JSlayerUK you live in the wrong bit of the country!

@badmachinery BRAVO! I will pass this off as my own to the rest of the maths department on Monday

@peterrowlett @Gelada interesting podcast this week! I do find most episodes quite whispery though, could you put your best radio voice on?

@GreyAlien how do they stop? feet?

@dumbfirefly I've seen the same asked about agrarian society. not in glossy fashion magazines, though

Good tutoring today, student much brighter than expected. She sat module 3 after only three weeks, got an E. What's going on in schools?

New mathem-o-blog post: Computable Groups (http://cli.gs/GLTED)

just saw some class war happening. policeman stopped a guy just for wearing Kappa

@standupmaths I'm not too fond of that proof because shearing doesn't happen in real life, so it's not convincing without a bit more thought

@Gelada as a wireframe, yes. It's not too obvious the enclosed area stays the same though. Just an intuition thing, I suppose.

defined a \fgoagog command in LaTeX. Having a good day.

@standupmaths that book is following in the fine tradition of Byrne's translation of Euclid's elements: http://bit.ly/9kz7v6

@standupmaths that day could be the 1st of May if you order the taschen reprint

stuck in a (maths -> facebook -> maths -> twitter -> maths -> food) loop

@JSlayerUK oh my God that is brilliant! that news is like a late Christmas present from Schaden Claus

@alexbellos I will do that because I've just seen the American title and it is just as bad a pun as the British one

did too many things today. My mind is a blank and I am unable to do anything until bedtime.

this is a very interesting paper http://bit.ly/aH0s3z

@aperfect forgot about that! He should be your mascot

typing blue plaque locations into google maps, whose search is entirely failing me. Fairly sure I'm looking at nelson street, google!

@mathpunk I thought you had that game wrong in the interview, but thought saying so on twitter would be too snarky. Makes more sense now!

I've put the locations of all the blue plaques in Newcastle on google maps: http://bit.ly/brW9oP . I intend to photograph them all

waaaayyyyy canada! I expect the Queen to deliver a message of congratulation tomorrow

Why do Southern Electric need a minibus? New biofuel initiative?

some ill dog has been painting the pavements of tynemouth a rich brown

@JSlayerUK religious people are quite keen on them

@JSlayerUK religious people vote. I really think that's the top and bottom of it.

@alexbellos free book to the first person without any tweets to RT you?

@Gelada it has always annoyed me that the JUM has no abstracts. The maths might be unpublishable, but I might want to cite it all the same!

New mathem-o-blog post: Groups and the Grzegorczyk Hierarchy (http://bit.ly/bFslED)

@GreyAlien The Pru deal and the fact the tories aren't going to win the election. The Today programme told me so, so it must be true

@alexbellos another vote for John Conway, didn't think about it for too long though

@JSlayerUK and can you believe some people press the lift button more than once even though it doesn't help? I bet that winds you right up!

Micro Chips! I am twelve again

@standupmaths I'm sure there's a niche for a channel with 37-minute programmes so it's always out of phase with other channels' ad breaks

@peterrowlett I can see it

wow, £4.99 for a thermos bottle but £34.99 if I want hannah montana on it. I think I can tell what my parenting style will be.

Swype is a very nice alternative keyboard for android. Very fast!

Newcastle have a goal difference of 40. That is insane.

still haven't forgiven the person who renamed Toppers to Frosted Wheats

@aperfect nice picture

Very good article - RT @Math_Bits: What were Einstein and Gödel talking about? http://bit.ly/cZcZV2

wahey, got JMEs working in SCORM! Took me a day, after waiting since November for the specs.

some element of what I ate today has poisoned me

going to the toilet with a feeling of trepidation is no way to live

new f1 season, IPL starting, and a new cabinet magazine! A relatively good time to be ill, really.

wow, I've lost almost a stone since I (1) started taking the stairs instead of the lift and (2) caught gastroenteritis

hah! West Gate Community College is now called 'Excelsior Academy'! Was Mr Wakelam involved?

.@mathematicsprof forget all that, I'm preparing for one big blow-out megaparty in Graham's Year

@Gelada I'm sure we can find a home for it at the Newcastle Uni maths department

@Gelada Maybe get in touch with our MathSoc - http://bit.ly/cinjgP

@brittneybean I imagine Florida is full of those now

Dead wasp on the pavement.that's wrong in a couple of ways

@aperfect what they mean is he didn't attack a WPC

@JSlayerUK stage left or your left? Ken might be offended!

ah, there it is! http://bit.ly/9PyClM "dangerous knowledge" - superb documentary about cantor and infinity and so on

what do you do when your phone has failed three times to send a message saying, "never mind"?

el Michels Affair sounds far too much like Menahen Street Band

making all kinds of noises about these burgers

@aperfect more to the point, who even remembers domain names any more?

just noticed that gazza is holding a bottle of broon in the mural at monument metro. How unfortunate.

oh no, now the bad juju is messing with the TV signal! This must be killing me somehow

Dreamt last night that I had a new kitchen from john lewis. It was beautiful!

The Ball With the Scary Noise In It is now an un-toy according to the dog. He walked right over it and refuses to acknowledge its existence

@fumbleweeds hello, who are you?

@fumbleweeds he's married! Crikey! Nice to meet you, and so on. Thanks re. feeds

@mathpunk at least you can say it's not cooperating today, and not at various moments sprinkled throughout history

it's only 9am and I've already heard the phrase "hot and cold running chicks" twice

I must find a way to become a member of the Mathematical Society of Traffic Flow

@brittneybean that sounds like the kind of event rolling news channels turn up to

the jazz soundtrack to my life has returned! Today will go pleasingly, hep cats

oh good god, "lizzie and sarah" is absolutely the most harrowing comedy programme I have ever seen. My perfect day is ruined already!

haven't heard of most of them, oh dear! RT @nulibsage: Most influential British women in history of science http://bit.ly/d3iWLt

@standupmaths how do I know you're not the person who stole Matt's phone and the password hasn't in fact been changed?

@brittneybean Nokia bh-501 - http://bit.ly/b227wa I like them a lot but I am not an audiophile. They work with every device I've tried.

@divbyzero the princeton companion to mathematics has a very good (and long) article about maths and music, fi you can get hold of a copy

Things I am tired of seeing in "maths art": the fibonacci series, the golden ratio, mobius strips, klein bottles. Think of something new!

@aperfect which makes it not even maths

@Gelada "there are some animations here" in the caption for the polytope image doesn't have a link attached - shouldn't there be one?

There are many be-flat-capped men pacing around the station. Something's up, but what?

@aperfect yeah that's my new vampire weekend tribute band

@Gelada very good article, I should have said as well!

@badmachinery milliners make hats

Had loads of fun making origami prisms and pyramids to help my tutee with geometry

@badmachinery that kind of joke is why you are the UK's top professional web cartoonist. All is forgiven!

I've been trying all day to procrastinate by chatting and nobody has co-operated!

@nulibsage did rather better on that one thanks. No, I didn't know about Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, and that's what made me remark

Fog is optical communism

@standupmaths I'm sure the barbican is ripe for some topology or graph theory puzzles: pick a random visible walkway then try to get there.

YES PLEASE NEXUS please do extend the metro to washington!

@rockhyrax turnitin?

@brittneybean because the only content anyone would conceivably pay for is editorial and investigative pieces - breaking news is everywhere

@JSlayerUK Papal infallibility only applies to ex cathedra statements, ie ones where he specifically says "This is for reals yo"

@JSlayerUK PS 'nonce' is a horrible word

@trackinthebox don't share your taste most of the time, but I really like Thomas Tantrum in that list.

@fumbleweeds does it give the same results for everybody?

was forcing myself to keep working and do a 9 to 5, until I realised I started at 7. Free, free, finally free!

why do girls in burger places always give me a bigger burger than the one I ordered?

@nilium feel sorry about what?

Seagulls in clear morning light giving me flashbacks of the bbc four ident

Mathsy arts beyond the usual fibonacci rubbish (after the first 10 or so, at least) - really cool stuff http://bit.ly/cobH4F

@JSlayerUK I am, but I don't think where I am is interesting information

"Eggs are... just a brainwave, aren't they?" - Mum

@NewcastleCC was there ever any truth in that civic centre rabbits story?

My nana looks like Little Miss Stalin in that coat

@NewcastleCC thanks, all my colleagues in the maths department have been inviting me to the facebook group. You'd think they'd know better!

Just realized I have a philosophical objection to -54 being a number

I've started a public collection of interesting maths finds on Mendeley - http://bit.ly/9o2a6Q

@alexbellos I bought my non-mathematician mum your book for her birthday and she says it is very good and accessible. Well done!

I have joined the dog in being scared of the washing machine

New mathem-o-blog post: Interesting papers collection (http://bit.ly/baPzeD)

the Tory Action Squad has been deployed to tynemouth metro station. Will they start a social enterprise to pick up the discarded leaflets?

@standupmaths mathematicians who live on-campus make up a non-commutative group

the BBC site invites me to "watch Jeremy Vine's intro" or "start swinging" - I always knew he looked the type

my mathem-o-relative (Hazel Perfect) has an Erdos number of 2! Now I just need to track her down and co-author a paper and all will be super

gosh it's warm!

@mathpunk what would that involve?

@mathpunk so you'd want a git repository with a nice frontend that does word/latex/etc. ?

so domino's hot pizzas are actually hot now. At least they don't give me the squirties any more

Saw mr lomas on the street. He didn't recognise me. Disappointed.

@brittneybean become one of us! all you have to do is answer 20 inane questions about pub etiquette and swear allegiance to an old german

@aperfect ahhhh wowwww that looks good!

@aperfect went well, told some jokes

how is Morning OJ meant to cohabit with Morning Toothbrushing?

Time to use the services of Mr Shavington-Smyth; my chin wants to enjoy the sunny weather.

oh gosh this looks useful: MathOnline — a compendium of free online mathematical references http://bit.ly/czEybK

@mendeley_com does there exist an RSS feed of all my shared collections?

having major rotation/reflection issues with printing this PDF. I want to make an A5 booklet, but learn not from my mistakes each printing.

this rain smells lovely! is the volcano responsible? Full of volcanicity! http://bit.ly/c3HEwQ

I think the old man two doors up fancies me

@kenfodder I imagine you writing these tweets in a room occupied by yourself and one other person.

must stop watching music videos of pretty singers on youtube. Must write maths instead. I think that's how I want my life to be, I think.

Maths Improv sessions on google wave: you ask questions, I write maths. Does that sound fun?

@rockhyrax tweed and elbow pads

@peterrowlett I wish I could attend that first one, I've been trying to use tablet pcs in teaching for years

oh yes, check out the titles available on the co-op registration form: http://bit.ly/9CImXr

@brittneybean Are you even kidding? That is an awful name for one of the best things about childhood

@rockhyrax woolly jumpers seem to be the unisex uniform of choice for mathematicians. Think Boden.

@rockhyrax you are going to classier maths conferences than I am. Maybe I will raise the tone next time round with a zoot suit.

@rockhyrax wearing a zoot suit is one of those ambitions I will never dare fulfil. On reflection, no it would not raise the tone.

just pulled out a snot with the consistency of marmalade.

I can see the fnords and they are in EDI's code! It displays '3*3' as '33'!! INCONCEIVABLE!

I hereby resign my membership of the set of people who can make a caesar salad without completely messing it up

I wonder how the pilot of the Enola Gay felt about becoming the killingest person ever

Kant: "what is beauty?" --- cp: "www.uniqlock.jp"

wow a real turing machine - http://bit.ly/97yICp
but the google ads were "toys for autistic toddlers"??

@Htbaa works for me. Is this pursuant to the thing about a modules listing on the bb.com forums?

@JSlayerUK it is only newspaper tycoons who do that. There are plenty of people in the world for you!

had a dream I went back to school and in assembly they did a big song and dance number about the times rich list. What was that bout?

I know dockers make 36 leg trousers because I own two pairs. So why does their site not go beyond 32L?

@peterrowlett that's exactly the kind of title that gets me funny looks when I explain what I do to non-mathematicians

@AndyOvine sounds like you had a nice day

@MathJax I'm using MathJax and the badge on http://bit.ly/9whxl7

@MathJax cool! I'm making an online exam system using mathjax for newcastle uni as well, but that isn't ready yet. WP was v easy to set up.

@badmachinery try "renard"

I think I might buy some paint

left-handed smileys are the devil's work. #selfhatingsinistromanualist

@trackinthebox I'm not sure if "Boots" by Nancy Sinatra counts, because it is a classy tune

@aperfect you're blogging it wrong

Just gave my seat to an old lady. Forgot that I'm going the long way round the metro line. Hope she gets off soon

hooray, finally! RT @MendeleySupport: ...Lots of little tweaks, but best of all, a new search feature for our catalog: http://bit.ly/d8BaG0

@JSlayerUK I have the same thing but with rocket cars. With me I think it's that I have no presence of mind, so they make me stop and look.

super! my tutee lost the memory stick with all her coursework on it, so I don't have to tutor her today!

square spaghetti is confusing me :(

@nulibsage I don't understand the e-shelf e-books thing. When it says the library will be charged for a loan, will that be passed on to me?

convinced Bill I needed to rewrite most of our code. Not sure how he'll react when I tell him we only need to change like two things

Borrowed a Sony Reader from the library. It is the future, as seen from the 1980s.

Watching armida at the tyneside with my nana. I've never been in a room with so many old people. I can't stand Renee Fleming either!

Well, the ballet bit was good. Only another hour and a half to go!

This blackbird is breaking out the freshest beats to find a mate

@divbyzero graphviz is pretty easy to get into.

@rockhyrax that seems to be what they've defined it to be: http://bit.ly/9JQvDk

@rockhyrax actually, wikipedia is more definitive in re the definition: http://bit.ly/biZb0v

yep so I'm drawing deep-sea cowboys and it is like the best thing I've thought of this year

Yep, these new trousers are pretty special

@kenfodder truth.

@kenfodder pate is addictive

@brittneybean it looks like the london skyline sticker from www.hu2.com , but it's slightly different. I wonder where they got it?

@princesszelda you're getting less picky, yesterday there were like three other criteria. #randomtwitterheckle

Fat flute man has upgraded to a clarinet, and is playing a topical tune - "I can see clearly now the rain has gone"

Is fat flute man's clarinet purchase a green shoot if recovery? Is the recession over? Should I vote Labour tomorrow after all?

@ColinTheMathmo I'm going to the IMA thing and I've registered for mathsjam, but £150 is a bit much - will there be any help for students?

@aperfect that is the single cleverest thing I have seen today, and I'm in the maths department

heading for a third consecutive weekend spent visiting Alnwick

@JSlayerUK tl;dr

there's a leak in the tyne tunnel.. oh goooood, the tories are ruining Britain already!

my mathem-o-blog is now at http://checkmyworking.com

to those interested: have a look at my clever web maths exam thing at http://is.gd/c0csr (still in development)

@quarklet ah yes, so I do. Thanks!

too many Toppers, not enough milk. #stupidsunday

today's Bad Machinery is genius

Sat next to a tiny woman on a small bench. Too early for my brain to cope. Feel like Gulliver

Ok, one person taking their hamster on the metro is odd, but two is a pattern. What's up?

@rockhyrax do such things happen? Does the Big Lottery Fund pay for a massive wheel they can all run in?

in the Brave New Tory Future, I might take up swearing

Opening a sweepstakes on first tory outrage. My bet - disbandment of guide dogs for the blind, national service for all pet dogs instead.

didn't plan the run-up to exam season well; now eating five meals a day to catch up. My role-model is "Hunter" from 90s gladiators.

the SAgE survey has an "agree/disagree/etc" section with a final question where I can make up my own statement to agree with. "I like dogs"?

@theyellowstereo just in time for my emusic subscription renewing! I like the new post layout, too

I bet leather elbow patches would give me a sufficient look of authority to disperse these King's students crowding the platform. Oh well.

is anyone going to the Late Shows?

@Bishnavitch to roots and wings? What's the plan, I couldn't work out from facebook

@JSlayerUK send it to cp

@Gelada this mathematician doesn't know it happened!

The clockword puzzlers are on the metro. They have matching pens and spectacles. Neither one has solved number 11 ('emblem')

@stewartandco how much are the BBQs? I've moved away from jesmond but there's no good butcher here so might come back on a sunny day

New mathem-o-blog post: The computability of a fgoagog (intro) (http://bit.ly/bt49bX)

why does Lui's only start serving breakfast at 9am? I'm hungry now and I need to be in town by 9! A posh bacon roll would have done nicely

"New Labour isn't new any more. What I'm interested in is next Labour. Blairites, Brownites, that's past" - David Miliband is next grammar

@MathJax I can't get \nmid to work in beta 2. It's in AMSsymbols.js, but using it gives an error

@rockhyrax maybe it was an old bee, and it kept forgetting what it came in for. Put out a thimbleful of horlicks and see if it takes a sip

maths sock! http://is.gd/cbz2B

today I have eaten only tomato soup, coca cola, and pepperoni pizza. It's the worst my mouth has ever felt.

thanks to google there are no more neologisms. Well, "increasative" hasn't been used in any of my citations, so I can coin it in this paper

Whoops, stopped in the middle of tesco to prove a lemma. Not sure how long I was stood there, but it seems to have stopped raining.

@peterrowlett fibonacci satire! http://is.gd/cd0vr

@brittneybean they probably don't sell enough ads to do precise targeting yet

@JSlayerUK a = bc + r ; b = cd + s, etc. etc. etc.

@MathJax no I don't, because I'm stupid. Thanks!

@rockhyrax I find it satisfying when wild animals appear more than once. It's like they're real things and not just anonymous automata

@peterrowlett it was ok. I wasn't really there long enough to get the most out of it. Met a few people, but not sure I'll go next year

@Bishnavitch generic skater tweet day?

Three minutes and counting since my code started computing the next prime after 7. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

@rockhyrax I'm building all computable functions up from three primitives - zero, successor, projection. Working towards http://is.gd/cgtWv

Advanced selection methods will produce most virile being in universe: http://is.gd/cguew . We're all (going to be) screwed!

@standupmaths I'm laughing but it is a despairing laugh. That's just awful.

This woman has the biggest possible nose. A caricaturist would draw it very small because going bigger just wouldn't look any different

@rockhyrax it did, but I haven't tried the one after that yet. I might cheat a bit just so I can get the first hundred primes before I die

@rockhyrax I need to encode lists using Godel numbers, which relies on prime factorisations.

yowza, the hot stuff chilli company weren't joking! Trying to think of ways to go to the toilet without touching my winkle now.

@princesszelda why are you thinking about make up at six in the morning?

15,000 proverbs about women from around the world: http://is.gd/ciJse . Some are really pleasant, others are rather mean

At the RHS gardens near harrogate, wearing a Panama hat and deciding to get an allotment. I'm like Benjamin Button with lifestyle choices

@GreyAlien lots of chiasmus in your tweets lately. Appreciated!

In gbk!!!!!

went to a different country today - Yorkshire. Feel inadequate and provincial now

cleaned my patio very thoroughly and swept all the old leaves away, and now my neighbour's just thrown their clippings over the wall. Poo.

@alexbellos so jealous! It is my life's ambition to own one, and they're only getting rarer

@JSlayerUK well, I never had MMR. Is that anecdotal enough to persuade you?

my new can opener is magic. I don't like having paranormal kitchen utensils. It opened a can and I don't know how it did it and I'm scared.

@rockhyrax aww, I could've got a Zuul reference in, couldn't I? Phooey!

just found out I bought two 3-litre bottles of Summer Fruits squash instead of apple and blackcurrant because I'm colourblind. Might die.

@alexbellos extremely long metafilter thread about your Tuesday boy article: http://bit.ly/aAyvl7

@divbyzero so you have to be at the right place at the right time for the Klein bottle opener to work?

@nususteam how are the recycling percentages worked out?

@Gelada it's more like maths gives a very satisfying definition of truth

@Gelada well, it's better than "feely" truth. The idea that you can say "I know this fact, so what else do I know as a consequence"? is good

@rockhyrax so what is the deal with hyraces?

@peterrowlett have a play about with xThink Calculator: http://bit.ly/cfkeui . Windows 7 does maths input in Word as well if you've got it.

My flat has eccentric light fittings. Who knows where to get a lightbulb that looks like an onion with Marge Simpson's hairdo? It's dark :(

@rockhyrax sleep in on leap days? If there's an extra day, one should be able to waive the right to use it.

exam runtime is now under 2000 lines! Hooray for simple code! Boo to whatever the other guy was trying to do!

@brittneybean so I looked up the paper that's based on, and I thought "their maths is very bad", and then I saw it was written by economists

it's possible that Janelle Monae is the best woman. Initial assessments point towards yes http://is.gd/cA0mp

@JSlayerUK does it count as part of the Palace?

@JSlayerUK whoops, that was what I was going to have tonight. Maybe I'm a bit depressed though

@JSlayerUK I agree 120%. The extra 20% is because Alice Lowe has joined the cast and she is so nice

I have learned tonight: proper cajun seasoning is in no way a substitute for fajita spices; old el paso guacamole tastes like late trains

@rockhyrax trains that arrive late - disappointing, but just what you expect, really

@standupmaths sudoku *is* the 'more than' puzzle - it used to be all crosswords

@aperfect that logo is very bad, and what they do to it further down the page is worse

who has Red Dead Redemption for the xbox? This internet ain't big enough for all of us, let's have a shootout tonight.

@richieb85 my gamertag is ChristianP, I will be playing online later

the thing that EDI have spent two years not knowing how to do I have just done in 2 hours! MY MIND IS EXPLODING DUE TO TOO MUCH GENIUS

@rockhyrax EDI are the company up in Scotland we're working with, making online maths exams using SCORM. I've made randomised questions work

@rockhyrax we don't even get round people looking at the answers in the page source! The plan is to have locked-down PCs for real exams.

@rockhyrax no, C/Basic-like syntax. That was the other clever thing I did earlier in the year! It renders as latex though, through mathjax

mathematicians: how do you think one should LaTeX an integer times a fraction? 3 \times \frac{1}{2}, or, 3(\frac{1}{2}), or what?

@rockhyrax still didn't understand the hyrax love, but now remember koalas have same effect on me. Might go and find my Koala Kate cassette

@rockhyrax this http://is.gd/cGcFH (unhelpful link). My dad brought it back fro Oz when I was tiny. It was my favourite cassette!

@badmachinery the whole time this story's been on I didn't realise "good boy" could refer to a dog! You've made this maths phd feel v.stupid

@rockhyrax I can't in good faith join your group, can't see the appeal of hyraces, esp. compared to koalas. Also I can't write on your wall?

@brittneybean @aperfect I await the arrival of the first hands-free video call kit

@rockhyrax well, it's greek, and 'hyraces' got past peer review: http://bit.ly/biINom

@rockhyrax English is changing - viz. 'indexes' vs 'indices' is 3.6m to 2m on google scholar. Scholars are writing this! Scholars!

@rockhyrax PS no clever retorts about the verb 'index'

@rockhyrax men, geese and people everywhere are insulted!

sausage beans sausage beans sausage beans SAUSAGE BEANS SAUSAGE BEANS

@aperfect that looks creepy just referring to dad as @eqdynamics. Twitter should automatically rewrite '@dad' to your dad's actual username

considering writing "EDI are bad at everything" in morse code using tabs and spaces somewhere in my sourcecode.

looking back, three jacket potatoes topped with a can of tuna, a lot of cheese and three rashers of bacon was never a realistic proposition

@peterrowlett what do you know about adaptive assessment in online exams? That's my project next year for this SCORM thing at Newcastle

@peterrowlett I think so. We might be gathering some people together to discuss standards. I can't invite you, but would you be interested?

@peterrowlett okie doke, kein Problem. Have I shown you what I'm making? Example at http://is.gd/cKyZU - does that interest you?

@ColinTheMathmo that's really interesting!

Sitting in on Robin Johnson recording revision videos. Never meet your heroes.

Confused a foreigner on the metro. To be fair, he confused me first. I think he got off at the right stop, so it was karma-neutral.

@EATng does the foodie walk start at the castle keep behind the cathedral? My mum's convinced it starts at the civic centre

@alexbellos tell him to sort out the camerawork in his video lectures. We've been watching his quantum computing series in our seminars

ahhh itv commentator man don't talk about the "german gene kicking in" when they start winning, especially not when the player is polish

@aperfect truth spoken to twitter

Michael Schumacher needs a visit from Supernanny

gosh, it might be time to download a matmos album. Especially as emusicsmas is two days away and I still have 14 downloads.

@JSlayerUK you're winding yourself up. Distract yourself - compose a limerick about lembit opik, factorise a big number, take deep breaths

♺ @qikipedia: Today's B word: Beckets. The little loops on a pair of trousers or a raincoat for a belt to pass through

@brittneybean very slick! but: the maths on crops seems odd, and I didn't build a road properly in the tutorial but it carried on anyway

@brittneybean refreshed the page and it got stuck in an infinite loop of clouds when I clicked "start playing"

I have exactly 13000 emails in my inbox! I will celebrate with Frosties

turning the volume up for a good song, walking across the room to do some work, a bad song comes on after: unfortunate.

using my telephone voice to comment on the LRB blog

@standupmaths for the foreseeable future, non-checked shirts are not allowed, by order of the management

I have found the one phrase, out of all possible phrases, most likely to amuse a 12-year-old: "sperm whale faeces absorb gas"

@JSlayerUK oh, so true! You are like a modern day Peter Kay. Please tell me about more things I remember so I can laugh!

@JSlayerUK I didn't have enough characters left to say not sarcastic! It genuinely did make me laugh

@GreyAlien what do you recommend for "unpronounceable" and "unspellable"?

@GreyAlien the correct answer was, "pretend you're Irish"

@brittneybean your flattr button on trackinthebox says "error"

Walking behind a trendier version of me. This isn't looking good. Oh, he's stopped to look at some fashionable clothes. The gap is growing!

@JSlayerUK which app? beebplayer?

someone call BP and tell them to forget about underwater robots - what I just dropped in the toilet will solve their problem

@brittneybean I thought that site was about the NUFC player and got very confused.

@alexbellos I'd never thought of using football matches to check the birthday paradox. It's almost exactly the right no of people!

would I regret buying one of these paper birds? http://is.gd/cWChn

@aperfect I don't know, previous bird-themed purchases have provided satisfaction

why did I even bother buying cheap Tesco soup?

@alexbellos I'm not a statistician, but analysing shared birthdays after the first round of group games will cause educative problems

the Tories' impression of what is fair is vastly different to mine

about to make it rain on www.alternativemeats.co.uk

@NUSusTeam so it's something like recycled tonnes as a percentage of recyclable tonnes, or as a percentage of total waste?

taking a shower shouldn't push the limits of perception, but every morning deciding how hot to make it prompts a metaphysical conundrum

@JohnChrisJames good luck JJ! Will you be uploading pictures anywhere?

hoeren Sie mir und legen Sie Ihre Sombreros auf: BURRITOZEIT BEGINNT JETZT

@JSlayerUK eat food until there is space in the fridge for the cake

spent two hours shooting hundreds of federales on the xbox only for some 'dude' to shoot me in the face seconds before I got the achievement

25!!! ♺ @BBCWeatherNorth: Temperatures up to 25C/77F by Sunday. Han B

A chocolatier has opened on the high street next to the working men's club. Very posh! Will try some when I get back from my walk.

ok amazon, if you insist, I will buy the Taschen edition of Byrne's Euclid for 40% less than the RRP.

@Bishnavitch fight the good fight

@hellobuglers to be fair Capello was hiding tactical advice in one of their clues: "Rasta friend greets Pauline's son (4-3-3)"

@brittneybean cripes, that sounds like something out of the 19th century!

@Bishnavitch what time does the film start? Having dinner with my mum tonight

@Bishnavitch doesn't matter, I've now got to get my own dinner so will be at yours at 8:30. Can I use your parking space?

@Bishnavitch I'm outside your flat!

@brittneybean I stared at the iwi logo too long and now it looks like the dude on the right is giving a huge backhand slap to the left guy

It's here! http://tweetphoto.com/29834585

@standupmaths aah! I just found out the word for that a few days ago and in a massive case of irony I've completely forgotten it!

Why have I had a Rae Spoon song stuck in my head for two days? I don't even know the words, just some of the vowels

oh man it's all going right for me right now! Chile con queso, SCORM object reporting scores properly, theorem proved, cowboys shot. Fab!

@rockhyrax watermark, that's the ticket

The entertainer is on the metro. He goes "ding!" when the train does. Everybody is laughing. What a guy.

@fumbleweeds what are cereal boxes made of over there? I have literally never had this problem.

@rockhyrax the latter

grigory perelman got 99 problems but the poincare conjecture ain't one

@rockhyrax you're coming round, I knew you would!

@aperfect apparently you need to go and see this http://www.twitvid.com/VE0Q3

writing latex on the patio. It isn't really working for me.

so I'm supporting Germany but I don't like ozil's face. What to do?

@aperfect OH?

@rockhyrax yes, but I forgot to close an environment and now my deck chair is all wet :(

What kind of lazy barber is closed on a Monday? I'm starting to look like cousin It

switched my paper to sans-serif. Not sure how my supervisor will react, but I'm prepared to fight for it.

@JSlayerUK no, they get one vote which will decide the winner. Or, everyone gets candidates-1 votes, winners assumed to stay with same party

@JSlayerUK hup Holland hup!!!

Made the correct choice re coming home before the rain really starts

somebody, like, lunge at me with a knife while explaining the definition of nilpotent to me so it sticks in my memory this time

Another thing only emotional trauma will imprint on my memory is the order of the junctions on the A184

@rockhyrax so not radically different from the current situation

the whole chain of events leading to me sitting down to eat my dinner in front of the football has failed to happen. I'm hungry and confused

@peterrowlett haven't read this but here you go http://arxiv.org/abs/0803.0150

@rockhyrax it certainly makes them drawees if they ever do open again

@MarcusduSautoy hey! you! marcus! we have got to talk / your convoluted verse structure / tends to prose as the length of the poem increases

@MarcusduSautoy exactly 140 characters, or almost rhymes if you change start to "er, dork/ author!" but I didn't want to call you a dork

@MarcusduSautoy never mind, just noticed I missed out the 3. Will stop spamming you now.

@aperfect is that where those dirigible penguins were?

The rain has made the midgies hatch, and this spider has caught so many I worry it hasn't git enough brains to know when to stop eating

ok real mathematicians, forget pi day, we can celebrate pigeon-hole day! http://is.gd/dndrG

"The gourmet chocolate pizza company" - you couldn't make it up! It's the middle classes gone mad!

@Htbaa are you just trying to wear out your hash key?

@alexbellos aha! time for me to dig this up: http://is.gd/drwLS I find it very useful as an explanation of the general idea

@brittneybean http://is.gd/drBZt

take that, bag of cookies! There was only room for one of us in this town, but happily there was room for all of you in my tummy

@nulibsage I have yet to encounter a Springer article in a journal the uni has subscribed to. Are they just too expensive?

"tarski" and "high school algebra problem" is the biggest juxtaposition in maths I can think of http://tinyurl.com/3898t45

@GreyAlien oh no! I even tried telling facebook I was a girl to get rid of the tacky dating ads. Is there no safe configuration?

@Gelada @standupmaths does hornby sound enough like corby to make the obvious pun?

@nulibsage no, I know which journals I want, but we don't subscribe to them!

New mathem-o-blog post: Computable categories (http://bit.ly/cmjjvs)

@nulibsage I haven't been keeping a list, but "lecture notes in computer science" (1980) was the last one

@Htbaa it's good to see he's reaching out to foreigners? That's a first step?

@Electrokittie but Saturday Saturday Saturday!!!

@Electrokittie !!! That is a brilliant idea

@Htbaa yeah, we banned him from coming over here

@Htbaa he's got one thing going for him, that his name being on the news taught me how the Dutch pronounce the letter G

@rockhyrax well, the story's quite interesting, actually...

New mathem-o-blog post: Lists and finite trees are $E_3$ (http://bit.ly/a1gKPQ)

ploughing through my unfinished blog posts because I am so done with pregroups

@JSlayerUK last time I had that done, I met an old school friend on the street afterwards. It's very hard to not look crazy in that state

@aperfect genetically, I am glad I only got autism and not hayfever from mum and dad

@fatfieldfoodie bought streaky bacon 2 for 1, and some posh bbq sauces. I think I was too early, some stands were empty

@JSlayerUK woooooow, those are really good!

I have basically no decisions to make about what to eat for the next week or so

@Alternativemeat bbq yesterday was a big success. Impala sausages were the consensus favourite, but I didn't get any!

opulence: using charbonnel et walker and clotted cream ice cream to make a chocolate milkshake

should I make a mockery of amazon prime by ordering a 79p box of chalk to be delivered tomorrow by special delivery? Tempted!

@GreyAlien that was the temptation! Such enormous pointlessness is like performance art

@rockhyrax I used no sugar. Is that something you're meant to do? I just sort of blended everything together and it was ok, I suppose.

Fol Chen's "In Ruins" sounds like the intro theme to a totally kickin' 80s movie

@JSlayerUK that puts you one up on Dick Cheney

aaaaaahhh! Why do we not subscribe to the journal of mathematical sciences?! WE'RE A MATHS DEPARTMENT

@Amy1306 at least you're not male

New mathem-o-blog post: Infinite trees are $E_3$ (maybe) (http://bit.ly/9l94cP)

@rockhyrax YES. I have to start one of those now.

came into uni to be productive; left my usb stick at home; sheesh

finished Limbo. Good, but not worth a tenner

@Bishnavitch potentially, if it's a late-ish showing

@peterrowlett now I want to make a Magic Pi picture. Maybe it could be a mobius strip, for full maths art cliche effect.

for the first time since the Little Ice Age, my flat is warmer than the air outside it

If this old man was a transformer his name would be Insane-o-plex and his special power would be creeping me out

Time for Jardine's cowboy kettle chilli yesssssss

@GreyAlien ahh, I'd always wondered about that! oil change places are everywhere in the US

In mourning for Tanfastic, the shop with the best name

@aperfect god damn it I made that joke last weekend!

@aperfect in front of bish, discussing wraps

I have had to deplete my Strategic Reserve of pound coins because domino's isn't taking card payment. I might regret this.

@JSlayerUK you don't need people, you need Soupy Norman

just realised last letter of my bank password needs to be a repeat because it only appears in the last box, so could be deduced

@rockhyrax much more mundane - my wallet doesn't have a coins bit, but I buy a sandwich every day for lunch, so pounds accumulate

@JSlayerUK if you're considering it, don't bother with Gordon Ramsey's Plane Food. It's only so-so.

@alexbellos I think so; that rings a bell... (pun ENTIRELY intended)

@rockhyrax what's going on, are you playing a mad combinatoric variant of musical chairs?

the best thing ever! RT @divbyzero: RT @pickover: Please enjoy this shiny fractal cow. http://bit.ly/cvCEDA

people who drive in the middle lane are why democracy can never work

Misery Bear has a day off http://youtu.be/t3e9rc1PueI

@beefok no! functional please!

@beefok anon functions alone are worthwhile but haskell is like writing pure maths. Lots of clever optimisations can be done by FP compilers

@ColinTheMathmo it was underneath a Dan Brown book. That was the bit I found hardest to believe in the whole episode

This woman's handbag looks like the oogie boogie man.

and I thought "Genuine all-over tan 'an impossibility'" was going to be an application of the hairy ball theorem http://tinyurl.com/25av34j

@brittneybean doesn't seem to work. After I click play, nothing happens

Making eye contact with people would be a lot easier if I could tell when they are making eye contact with me

@fumbleweeds I'll swap you. It's all overcast and horrible here. I had the heating on this morning!

The rabbits in the park are so bad at hiding. Where have the birds of prey gone?

if Oliver Byrne had had access to a 70s graphics terminal, he might have made this http://bit.ly/cwyoHW (@alexbellos)

@brittneybean giraffe is mine, hands off. On my wall it would say without words, "a tall man lives here, but don't worry, he's into cuddles"

@brittneybean I'm ok with that as long as his middle name is Raphael, so his rapper name would be G-Raf.

@brittneybean every now and then I consider complaining about a song but then I get a sense of perspective and do something worthwhile

my computer's failing in a very cinematic way - the sound is going all mechanical, graphics are jumbled up, but nothing has stopped working

@peterrowlett you could mention the release of MathJax, which will help maths on the web a lot. It's sponsored by the AMS, Elsevier, etc.

catching up on five years of PC games. Where to start?

@Bishnavitch curry. What's wrong with you, that's not a hard choice.

@GreyAlien that was the last game I bought!

@alexbellos if you can check an answer to a question in not too long, does that mean that you can find the answer in a similar timescale?

Two women, both wearing weird asymmetric work trousers but normal casual tops, waiting for the metro. What?

@alexbellos yes P = probs s.t. solns can be found in poly time, NP probs s.t. solns can be checked in poly time. P is in NP, but is NP in P?

@alexbellos oh dear. @standupmaths 's job is safe.

@brittneybean apart from the super mario bros theme, which is the achievement of our age, Outcast had a good score

@brittneybean ahhh I take it back! I forgot Monkey Island! http://bit.ly/dmURvO

@aperfect that's cheating, it's film music!

@aperfect ok, I concede. Can't spend time arguing, busy looking for a lynx emulator

@aperfect "even the Guardian"?!

fixed three really small bugs today, good work. Now I will play games until my eyes have a serviceable map of q3dm17 imprinted on them

going to make a sarky comment on a facebook post but can't find the crucial corroborating evidence to back it up. Victorian txtspeak anyone?

to expand: fairly sure it was a metafilter post about txtspeak-like abbreviations in wide use in 18/19th C letters, with famous examples

Yes! The champion difficulty space in Eldon garden multi-storey was free. There should be an Xbox achievement for using it

me to Max: "don't wear shoes, dog!" Where does he get his ideas from?

@brittneybean the Naked and Famous: Larry Flynt has that Venn diagram on a stained glass window in his office

@MathJax ah! can fonts be stored on a separate server and not break cross-site scripting rules? that helps a lot!

@Bishnavitch I thought I had fast-forwarded five year and I had become a bigoted professor. Is Dr Christian off that street doctors thing?

@aperfect yes

The dog is suspiciously cooperative today, and I doubt that my lectures on the value of collaboration were what turned him

@GreyAlien because the IR light is weaker, so by pressing harder we're holding it down for longer, so light has greater chance of being seen

@GreyAlien depending on the remote, the contact on the button could also be flaky

a search engine for recipe videos: http://cookblast.com/

tomorrow we'll be talking about 2010's top painted rodents in the Art Rat Chart Chat #newcultureshowsegments

someone's subscribing to my Interesting Esoterica maths collection on Mendeley! Now I feel pressure to find more papers

@divbyzero have a look at www.mathjax.org - yeah it isn't built in to the browser but it's ace and supports all of amsmath

@trackinthebox your emails have had  characters littered about them for the past few days

@brittneybean windows live mail. Good point - they're not there on the web interface

I lost my place while cleaning my teeth and ended up just brushing teeth at random until it felt like two minutes had elapsed

@alexbellos tl;dr: Efalex - suppliers of brainboosting omega supplements - sponsored his latest creation

@brittneybean my complaints about that article's logic last longer than a tweet

@aperfect it doesn't even make any sense, it's meant to be a page with the corner folded

incompletipedia: article titles ending in an ellipsis: http://j.mp/c5skcK

@peterrowlett just saw a very old book in Sedbergh on that subject. Bought another Hazel Perfect group theory book instead though

Being stalked by a van from wessington cryogenics. In stasis, no one can hear you scream for 80 years or so

that's nice, Vexed is very funny. I'll watch it from now on

@Electrokittie which is why you're now an Avon lady?

I need to get myself a tube of Eczemate, the only skin moisturiser endorsed by five reigning grandmasters

@aperfect yeah I'm amazed you've never heard of it. It's some guy's petty revenge for Mt Rushmore being scraped out of a sacred mountain

@aperfect do you get any nihilists turning up?

@trackinthebox I played Parov Stelar at a party last year and it got a stonier reception than an Iranian adultress

@Alternativemeat I prefer to view the ageing process as me continually setting Personal Bests for time spent on Earth

@brittneybean the moves he starts pulling at 1:24 are deadly serious.

11pm Wednesday radio 4 comedy is my favourite time, wavelength and genre combo http://beta.bbc.co.uk/i/tgf1c

@MEIMaths extremely useful, thanks!

@JSlayerUK Pizza Hut have been in trouble for quite a while now. They've just started making real pizzas again though, so who knows

@Electrokittie that's the most FFs I've ever seen. Is that your whole friends list?

@Electrokittie oh, but thanks for including me

@brittneybean also The Discretionary Purchases

I flipped all the pogs but they wouldn't let me keep them :(

yuk, I am using my old bluetooth mouse and it's like all my pointing desires are put through an "if you were old and infirm" filter

automatically find your next prime birthday(s) http://j.mp/93Psj6 @standupmaths @peterrowlett (will add explanatory text later)

@rockhyrax just had a look into allowing sequences from the OEIS but they don't have a nice API which gives enough elements

@Gelada feel free to re-use my javascript prime birthdays thing (http://j.mp/93Psj6) on primebirthday.org. It's very simple.

aaarh, now that's a third conference happening while I'm on holiday!

@standupmaths not undetectable, they told manufacturer how to detect & avoid it before they published. It's just a man-in-the-middle attack

@tynesidecinema please could you fix it for me so tynesidecinema.com redirects to www.tynesidecinema.com? It's always annoyed me

@alexbellos fairly sure I could make a necklace which could describe ALL of pi

@brittneybean good music!

@badmachinery what's your policy on fixing typos? "bgger" in today's first panel if you are pro-amendment

@aperfect oh it's a problem with your phone is it?

feel like achieving today. What to achieve? Your achievement suggestions, please!

@MarcusduSautoy that means set of uninteresting numbers is not well-defined, not that it is empty

@rockhyrax vanilla assassin. Be afraid

@JSlayerUK his face would probably benefit from a collision. No, that's harsh. Helmets aren't a legal requirement: http://j.mp/cAPUNa

@JSlayerUK yes that's important, but slightly inappropriate statistic. Replace women with 'world's pooreest X %' and you'd get similar

@JSlayerUK that's a fair compromise

is it just TeX that turns the letters 'fi' into a ligature which can't be copied and pasted correctly, or all PDFs? IT ANNOYS CP SO MUCH

I've been adding lots to my Interesting Esoterica mendeley collection recently: http://j.mp/cf8240

New mathem-o-blog post: Some notation for FPAs and HNN extensions (http://bit.ly/9vqLDu)

@Electrokittie you use THE MOST!!

why does windows think that the same mouse plugged into a different usb port is a different device?

what do you call people from Essex? Essecians? Anyway, I will start a company selling them glassware and call it "Verre Good"

This man has "TOON ARMY" tattooed across his knuckles in a very fetching Gill Sans. Aspirational tattooist or style-conscious hooligan?

@fumbleweeds "sandwiches which will prevent you from ever being able to open your mouth again"?

@brittneybean not really

@peterrowlett 12:34:56 is a valid, and better, time

@peterrowlett sheesh you know when you tweet something then instantly regret it? I forgot about seven

Super Monkey Cube #northkoreanvideogames

@brittneybean I would also prefer if 20% of my wages went to Jax, the best Mortal Kombat character

@HilariousCow isn't that just called a stable system?

@brittneybean unmix: skillful dissection of a song into its component influences

@RachaelBailes free food? macbook? Here we get to listen to construction all day, and I'm paying for the privilege

@HilariousCow it applies to your wall jumping thing though. Mario kart is engineered to be chaotic, or consider dice wars vs Risk

Sat opposite a thinner, ambiguously-aged Clare Balding lookalike who'd struggle to be heard amongst dormice. What job can she possibly do?

Off on holiday now, bye!

I am not linguistically equipped to operate in catalunya

Hooray, finally humanity has advanced enough to provide a PAYG sim with decent internet. And in crazy Spain, too!

http://plixi.com/p/45287289 nachos coyote, gone before I could blog them

Fairly sure it was the lemur that was made in God's image

@tynesidecinema a town called panic? In English? I will round up the troops!

euronews' "No comment" is top. 3 unedited minutes of prince William flying a sea king was more satirical than anything Bremner could manage

@Rosalot I thought you were a mackem?

@peterrowlett was going to tell you something interesting about symmetry and the Alhambra, but it's completely sold out. Wasted holiday!

No tickets available for the Alhambra and I've got food poisoning. Poo.

Cuboid walks into a bar. Barman says, "why the long face?"

Chia pets are the topiates of the masses

@divbyzero not to my knowledge. Geometry hasn't really had the pop-sci treatment at all, apart from golden ratio kooks

@peterrowlett I started with diagrams on mine - tesseract, sierpinski, etc

@divbyzero yes, maths teachers have been overly optimistic about what is well-known since time immemorial

The man next to me is not happy with his career choices. He is expressing this by playing games on his blackberry and sighing a lot. How sad

Oh no I've become one of those people who gets up ten minutes before the train stops. Blackberry man's awful worldview has contaminated me

@divbyzero thanks for that, added to my interesting erotica collection

@divbyzero sorry, was in reply to you sending me "misconceptions about the golden ratio" ages ago. I've just got back from holiday

@divbyzero oh god, just realised I typed erotica and not esoterica!! Oh dear oh dear!

@fumbleweeds just got to read about an older woman etc etc

Bresenham's algorithm and crossing Northumberland street when it's busy, theory and applications. C Perfect, 2010

esoterica enthusiasts: some Cambridge types built a set of logic gates from a model railway, but I can't find a reference. Does anyone know?

If this woman thinks she can walk faster than me, she needs to reevaluate. Bonus points for trying it with a week's shopping in hand though

@ProfKinyon thanks for that anyway, I'm writing a talk on Turing completeness in odd places, so that will make an appearance

@MEIMaths 227 is a more imminently achievable pi-related goal

mum just described Darlo as "down South". That's right.

@peterrowlett on my Spanish holiday I didn't see the alhambra but I did see the magic square on the sagrada familia: http://j.mp/94FBiu

Dear Messrs Everybody: I want to wear interesting clothes, but am extremely enormous. Suggestions please. Yrs from way up high, Christian

How do Galaxy benefit from me 100% fancying the woman in their ad? Like, I'd buy her some if I met her, seems she enjoys it, but otherwise..

ahhhhh rubik's deja-cube! I've just shuffled it into the exact same position as the last time! CAN'T HANDLE IT

@JSlayerUK your last tweet is magic and I have informed the Witchfinder General

@theyellowstereo it's not a laugh track, it's a live audience

English tests to gain citizenship are terrible and wrong, but I would advocate the compulsory removal of soulpatches

@divbyzero the sad thing is, they know the kind of people who dislike that ad are outnumbered by those who like it. They've done the math :(

@Electrokittie are you basing this on the new bit of Eldon Square, which is right next to where lots of chinese people live?

@Gelada I was really just going for a bit of irony with "do the math". The advert doesn't bother me

A Town Called Panic is on at the Tyneside on Friday. I am looking for people to see it with. http://j.mp/9NOjfg

@MarcusduSautoy was that copied out of a PDF? Sadly, my first thought on reading was about the missing fi ligature.

There is a dude on the metro wearing a bandana and fingerless gloves, as if Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Turtles In Time never happened

new mathem-o-blog post: Disappointing Stationery http://j.mp/bFD82X

@rockhyrax are these what I think they are? http://j.mp/a2xaC3

@rockhyrax at Bioparc in Valencia. It was a very friendly place for all sorts of animals. No koalas though :(

@brittneybean but they support kiva! It's microloans! A payday loans site would have a background the colour of old tobacco

mathmos: never forget the debt we owe to bankers (pun so intended). The maths behind making www.wonga.com look good to laymen must be hard

@WongaWoman I meant the maths you do to calculate your prices. Understanding of power series etc was motivated by banking

@Bishnavitch I hope you have one in XXL

pepsi are running a competition where a camera is given away every 10 minutes. Don't enter at lunchtime with the masses, so when is best?

@aperfect so not that, then. I am getting everyone's choices so I can rule them out. 4am is very popular

@aperfect so 3:50 is the logical choice

google keeps teelling me I'm sending automated requests because Google Instant is turned on

while I was away, Northumberland's Most Ginormous Spider looked after the flat for me http://post.ly/12Vd2

dear the priest who decided gaelic 'v' should be written 'mh' : why did you do that.

@Gelada are you doing maker faire again next year? I'd be willing to lend a hand if you are

has everybody in the world's msn account been hacked?

@peterrowlett @MarcusduSautoy 's www.mangahigh.com really is very good

@RachaelBailes seriously though / second year's a horror show / get your bum in gear

@brittneybean I thought you were winding up Belgians again

doing some old-school mousing with my beloved wireless intellimouse explorer. Why did I ever leave you?

@peterrowlett aaaaah I really want to go to that! Why must I live in the clean, friendly, cheap north?

@brittneybean don't worry, in 10,000 years Science will be able to make you sane again

@tynesidecinema has anyone said a town called panic yet? But only if I get to be the crossing guard. He's got everything in that shed.

@trackinthebox I wish to show my appreciation for good tracks, but am not obnoxious enough to post to facebook. Could you add a like button?

Worried my last words will be tedious, so "Rosebud" means more morphine and "this is the last of earth! I am content" means change my bedpot

@tynesidecinema did one better than RTing - I emailed the whole uni maths department. I may or may not go myself

@brittneybean is that like half a Yakoff Smirnoff joke?

dried yeast is like the essence of tiny insects in a powder . It loves sugar! Straight away it's like MNYUMNUMNYUM

My daily routine is in exact syncopation with the metro timetable

@tynesidecinema maths department trip update: the timing of the play conflicts with the pure maths seminar. Sorry!

Pigeon pecked at a lost malteser. Didn't like it, continued on its way.

geometers: is there such a thing as like a bezier curve on a sphere's surface, using maybe quaternions?

@beefok do you know any unlikely turing-complete machines? I'm compiling a list for a talk I'm givin in january?

@beefok oh no too many question marks? I didn't mean to do that?

no way, a Springer journal we have access to!

why does my kitchen smell of melons? There are no melons in my kitchen

@Bishnavitch what is the plan today? Can I come over to yours beforehand? I don't know where the showing place is

@divbyzero I don't know about that, it sort of looks like a fractal black armband already

It suddenly occurred to me while shaving to leave the mustache on. That was a scary thought.

Not pleased with the number of people for whom retro fashion means dressing like the worst person in the 80s

@HilariousCow I've just been doing lots of quaternion stuffin BlitzMax. I could write a post on my maths-code blog if you'd like

@HilariousCow well, I'm a professional mathematician, so I can probably help you with that

@HilariousCow do you still use your msn account? I can't DM you.

@Htbaa truth

@fumbleweeds it means you won't be seeing any grey squirrels for a while

Hey, @alltheworldschocolate, get over here.

@trackinthebox could you please at least spell-check take-overs, viz. yesterday's post

@JSlayerUK bravo!

FESH AN CHEPS !!!

new mathem-o-blog post: some awful maths jokes http://checkmyworking.com/?p=269

@fumbleweeds as a geordie, I must be transatlantically outraged at anyone wearing more than a t-shirt and shorts in that weather

my sinuses seem to be competing for the job of digestive tract. Is this the Big Society? Eggy nostrils aren't in the coalition agreement

@brittneybean I will add to your misery: the top About/Contact links and the footer text are invisible with the special template

@brittneybean I'm colourblind

@tynesidecinema sorry, I've got a thing on tonight

@Bishnavitch sounds like a Samuel Pepys diary: filed insurance papers then to Newcastle where I saw Mr MUTHURANGU flip some 20 stairs

was the transylvania lottery conceived just so maths lecturers can have an example application of the fano plane?

hooray! > @nulibsage: We're trialling the Springer ebooks collection. Explore 20,000 titles at http://j.mp/ahrg4q

there's a pretty tasty pizza in the oven. Will update if it turns out it *is* possible to put too much chicken and bacon on

tonight's episode of White's was like any insufferable indie film of the past decade

@Bishnavitch no update necessary, more evidence there is no such thing as too much chicken and bacon

I made like a cargo cult sandwich. There's no need for tomato to be in a coronation chicken sandwich but I put it in because the shop does

@Bishnavitch I don't think even skinheads would be in the mood to do anything bad the way this match is going

@standupmaths The Good Soldier Svejk (unlikely to be in a railway waterstone's) or Jose Saramago

@Martinmagnusson you haven't really; what if dropbox goes bust?

@brittneybean that would be cutting right in to the product they're trying to create

Can't be doing with this. I've got Bell's palsy, of all things. Good grief!

@JSlayerUK it's what you have to have in bizarro-world prison

@kenfodder you can have my htc magic when I finally manage to get an upgrade

oh dear I have eaten chocolate instead of dinner

@brittneybean were they the ones with the sexy cover art and nothing else a while ago?

man if I wanted to hear So What then I wouldn't be listening to radio nova

"In an ambulance. Agency will provide new clown. Dictated but not read. BONZO" - most tragic text?

about.com is like wikipedia but with "As a mother," prepended to every article

@monsterthreads just got your mad discountravaganza email. I will spend lots with you if you make XXL Guys things

Phrasebook for the linguistics professor's new cleaner. Schwa: shower. Diphthong: bidet.

@nilium just got an Android 2.2 phone so I bought your wallpaper thingy. It's nice!

@peterrowlett Rosza Peter is a good candidate - did lots of good working in computability

@peterrowlett oh, I had forgotten what the post is about! Just treated on my phone without looking

engineers: if another one of you uses 'O' as the name of a variable which could equal 0, I will just give up. No more help from me.

does anyone know if it's possible to obtain this t-shirt http://j.mp/ap0UeA in the UK or Europe?

@JSlayerUK sorry, have we been annoying you lately? I'll pass a memo round at the next meeting

@jefferickson some top tweets today, keep it up!

Ive always wondered why the old lady upstairs needs a car. It turns out she drives it across the road to the metro station

@aperfect what's wrong with that? It's quite a nice sculpture.

@aperfect what's wrong with that? It's a nice sculpture, and the video both explained the "algorithmic" bit and was nice to watch

Saw a girl in a @monsterthreads hoodie. It was good.

I just recommended Bleak Expectations - Series 4 http://bbc.in/btsxPQ

@brittneybean welcome to the club; your membership card got lost in the wash. I'm sure you understand

@mathpunk that depends on if the Infinite Taco is well-defined. If it's full of mystery meat from a sketchy streetvendor, you've got a point

"a confident, shotgun-wielding young woman"

it tastes like there's raw meat in this sandwich

thai green curry: not for cp

my breadmaker is keeping time with Kermit Ruffins pretty much perfectly. So bourgeois.

@brittneybean there are so many problems with bitcoin

@brittneybean so many that, like, whuffie has more merit as a concept

I just had a like 30 minute dream about dogs and the iPhone, all for a pun which didn't even work in the end. I want a refund.

Angles this girl is beautiful from, in radians: pi. Reason for same: pie.
Sorry, that girl doesn't really exist, I'm not that shallow.

oh poo, someone has already made noetherian matryoshka dolls

@guardianscience "math"?

little known fact: henri poincare's head could split in half to reveal the bizarre shape of space: http://j.mp/bH2S4h

@aperfect HOW CAN YOU SEE ME YOU'RE MILES AWAY AAAAA

@JSlayerUK don't worry, most of the money goes to music execs and shareholders who were always Tories anyway

@Electrokittie "Alasia" sounds like an airline with a patch safety record

Recorded a miserable DNQ in today's 500m Banana Transport. Dropped my bag at the last moment; banana sustained a crowd-pleasing instant KO

@JSlayerUK nope

@JSlayerUK the only response that provoked in me is: WHEEEEEEE! I'm rich, white and male! Wahey! What's troubling you? gtalk me or whatnot

@joemanaco http://j.mp/f2wV7Z was indispensable to me, especially the Best Tips page http://j.mp/gU4DtY

I think I've got Stockholm syndrome with Bill. It's maths time and all I can think of is work to do on the web exam thing

@Bishnavitch have you changed your train ticket or not?

@JSlayerUK aughh, why do I always have to learn about bad policy from you? It is causing bad psychological connections to be formed

Driving in the snow was a challenge

@HilariousCow intrinsic: the noise when you pick up food in wolfenstein 3d. Extrinsic: xbox achievements

If I'd gone to a posher school, I would've started a third-wave ska/punk band called "Cave Diem, Carpe Canem"

I love cabinet magazine, I really do.

Parallel Parking on Ice might not be Disney's next song and dance spectacular but it is my new favourite hobby

How does cress get away with having such tiny leaves? What's its game? Is it really a plant?

I've just discovered you can drag a shape in google calendar to create an event! Now I will have more time to do the things I put in there!

Madjo: so hot right now.

so now I know how much dust my hoover picks up in a year

The panda hat is the new Ugg boot. I've seen more people wearing one in the past two days than I can handle. Where do they come from?

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies. Tonight, 9pm, BBC Four. Every single person watch it, please.

seriously everybody: OSS 117, BBC Four, now.

Well done, skater kids, for finding somewhere dry to skate on the day your school is closed because of the snow

my knee is moments away from dislocating completely

OK, don't be angry, but I've made the best sandwich. It doesn't make yours any worse, it's just that mine is better.

because my Dad can't go, he's given me his tickets to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue on the 8th of Dec. Who would like to go? I have 4 tickets

@MagBilliardsDev does the finger lift fix involve using the position from say 50ms before the finger-up event?

Dear All: please stop emailing me for a bit. I'm trying to think

@Electrokittie plus or minus. You use it when there are two solutions to an equation

@brittneybean Esperanza Spalding is a really really good jazz singer. She has an eponymous album which you maybe need to get right now

@brittneybean you will like this though

Slow Club finally understands partial isometries and Cuntz-Krieger algebras. Medals all round!

@aperfect call that snow? You've gone soft!

@aperfect holy quick reply, Batman! 25 seconds!

found a spade; cleared path to front door; old lady upstairs came down to say thankyou. So that settles whether she died in the cold or not

@brittneybean is this page meant to be public? http://j.mp/gLn4qI

I've started using Texmaker with synctex to automatically scroll the PDF preview to what I'm writing. I miss vim shortcut keys though.

@brittneybean I only found it because I'm sure you've done James Blake's Feist cover twice. Wasn't it in like the first week you did?

@brittneybean Apparently so!

@JSlayerUK opinions for opinions' sake?

Why have the royal mail not cleared their own driveway?

@HilariousCow is that a diet one can consciously follow?

@standupmaths next we'll discover that some pharma company is selling them mechanical integrators at 1200% markup

Last call: who would like to see I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the funny radio programme, at City Hall 6pm on Wednesday?

@Bishnavitch no, 4pm wednesday! I can't do 2-4

@Bishnavitch ok then

@Bishnavitch no, I'm seeing I'm sorry I haven't a clue after. Do you want to come?

My gcse maths tutor came out with some top algebra today: what is P divided by 2? "J and a half"

I of course meant my gcse maths _tutee_

Oh dear, recruiters: please be a little bit clever about how your targeted marketing works, or I can do things like this http://j.mp/gtL4pB

@brittneybean I have thought of a social network game based on sorting mail. Is that more or less tedious than farming? Is more better?

What's the point of this site? http://www.working-days-left.com/

beginning to have a bit of a freak out that javascript is not type-safe. Maybe my code doesn't need to be *that* error-resistant.

my heating won't come on! So cold

@ColinTheMathmo: the page is giving 404 for me, but if it's the stained glass window with the Julia set in, it's a coincidence

has there ever been a natural explosion on earth sufficiently powerful to propel something decently-sized into space?

@GreyAlien thanks for that

It's all gone! The BBC say some places heated up by 20 degrees last night. We get to miss the horrible icechaton stage, hooray!

@divbyzero @TeXtip I feel the Journal of Unpublishable Mathematics will benefit from this tip.

In 1933, during a lecture on quantum mechanics by Werner Heisenberg, Piet Hein invented the soma cube puzzle. Dude had his priorities right.

At age 12, Piet's son Jotun proved that a certain shape was impossible to make with the soma pieces, by a parity argument.

Uncle Ben's risotto: bad or worst?

@aperfect They are from my Strategic Reserve. I am quite ill, but I think I'll stick with sausage beans from now on

@peterrowlett fairly sure they mention it in the In Our Time programme on Archimedes, but there's no text search. Trust wikipedia

what's the deal with Tesco sending me my password in plaintext?

@JSlayerUK but he should try not to do that in Qatar

can someone write a program which analyses Tesco online and lists all the things where the multipack is more expensive, for shame purposes?

I think I misunderstood the concept of dvds when I bought my collection. I've just rejected every one I own because I've already seen them.

@aperfect Special Tactice is of course the name of Vladimir Putin's line of fragrances

who thought that Quake 3 on the Xbox would be a good idea?

@brittneybean Paul Graham is the Roger Federer of writing 10k words on a thesis that was flawed from the first paragraph.

interactive geometry in javascript http://jsxgraph.uni-bayreuth.de/wp/ I am so happy

@Electrokittie seek justice in small claims court!

bugs are always in the last line you look, but when that line has a comment "THIS IS A HUGE BUG, FIX IT SOON", you can only blame yourself

Wakey uppy number 3 and it still isn't even 8am. I want to have more dreams about Japanese Dr who!

@peterrowlett bad news: it looks like 'math' outdid 'maths' for a lot of history: http://bit.ly/dElkT2

there might as well be a new christmas song http://heideckerandwood.com/

Is anyone else's mum having trouble understanding why the latest car reg is 60 and not 50?

Roast dinner of genus 6 http://bit.ly/hOPXAU

@Electrokittie I like your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter

@standupmaths I always thought shaving was something I would start doing when I was old and responsible

@Electrokittie straight back atcha!

Woke up at 8 with the yoshi theme in my head, have been humming it continuously ever since. Decided to start adding in sound effects

@aperfect it costs £3 more in tynemouth. Franchises get to set their own prices

In just before the buzzer with the longest single peristaltic motion of 2010. I'm sure I heard it say 'papa' before it went on its travels