Every tweet

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It is the first. I will shave!

I have shaved, but not very thoroughly. My moustache is now catching up with my beard though, so that is good news.

@JSlayerUK you have an android phone? wow, is it very good? I want to replace my n95 in a while but the g1 didn't look too mind-blowing.

snow!

We have the ingredients. Club sandwich time.

club sandwich ruined by weirdo bread.

just destroyed my mouth with an insane madras

tesco value cookies are a bum deal

Writing corny narrative for the game.

I have really slow reactions. Apparently the mean is 180-200ms, I consistently get around 440ms.

making pleasing progress on the game

@JSlayerUK Not just you. I tend to think I'm pretty fantastic, and I find writing cover letters impossible too.

Scone success! Clotted cream and everything.

Walktall just sent me a sale email with just size 13 shoes in it. Clever thinking!

no sir, I don't think I am a fan of sweetmeal biscuits

I don't know when it became OK to put chorizo on a hamburger, but I certainly wasn't consulted

interactive timeline snow map! yes! http://is.gd/iwTS

worked out how to do the theorem prover, will code tomorrow.

well, technically it's tomorrow. couldn't sleep, and got it working first time!

flat out do not understand my grammar parser. Might have to rewrite it.

turns out my logic thing wasn't as good as I thought. I've rewritten it the proper way, and the grammar thing is still getting on my nerves.

@JSlayerUK practically every little village in northumberland has a shop with one in the window. They reappeared a few years ago, dunno why.

watch Ketch! and Hiro-Pon Get It On on iplayer. Very funny but so arty.

vanishingly little progress made today, still getting the new grammar thing to do everything it needs to

finished new grammar system!

today I had a serrano, monterey jack and mayo sub. It was ok!

is some kind of programming god

http://www.txbeef.org - tex-mex recipes galore!

@aperfect was that on mac or pc?

"the joy of sex education" arrived today, rated 18. Progress!

staring at the Koala Survivor, so happy

@JSlayerUK marcus brigstocke had a go with the late edition but he didn't have anywhere enough good writers to make it work.

loooves the snow

@brittneybean wow! my wongo-tall-guy chair cost about £400, but uni disability support paid for it. I'll look on ebay when it breaks, thanks

finished marking. 3 1/4 hours! Some students' handwriting is like a child's scrawl.

@kenfodder shouldn't you be using diary instead of twitter?

the exciting bossa nova samba rhythms are still my favourite albums

it is in fact The Bossa Nova: Exciting Jazz Samba Rhythms

got to write a new font system because hardware-filtered scaling looks awful

9pm and I still haven't made my dinner

@aperfect making a hilarious attempt at meatballs following the old fashioned cookbook

meatballs would've been nice if I'd had a real tomato sauce. At least they were cooked.

New font thing works! Still a programming deity.

@aperfect you and alisha's attic, sheesh

working on new fencing bit, dude is already comical

bad mood = dominos

cutting the vitruvian man into bits for a skining experiment

sorting out my eejit flatmates' energy bill affairs

@kenfodder heh, you mean there isn't someone at twitter judging every picture?

@aperfect that can not be good for you

so much traffic. What's the deal,geordies?

just realised I haven't looked at b3ta in weeks!

"Kangaroos are not terrifying. This is why so many tourists are mauled by them."

@brittneybean just say 'BFF' a lot. They love it.

I recant all opinions I have held of PG Wodehouse

trying to decide how to draw fencing dudes

I'm sure radio 4's late night schedule is designed to instil existential doubt

new series of one! radio 4! listen!

I now own three different sets of compasses. I might have a problem.

@aperfect wow, where?

this student has narrated every one of his thought processes on his homework. I do not need diagrams explaining how to read numbers!

or a reminder of the values of hexadecimal digits on EVERY QUESTION

just destroyed my nose with too much onion in coleslaw, and destroyed my spare ribs with too much heat

playing jumpman lives! loving it

@aperfect damnit!

I'm going to read some more Jeeves. Nothing else is presenting itself for my attention.

@GreyAlien no way, skidracer has just offered to help with music for the game!

on a seaside adventure. Blyth beach is lovely and calm, like the kind of thing you'd find on a model train set

lovely sand at blyth. Don't know why newbiggin felt they needed new sand. How different can it be just a couple of miles up?

wind's beginning to pick up

spent an educational 15 minutes driving through blyth town centre following signs for bedlington.

now at cambois beach. Not much here apart from a pair of wind turbines sticking out of the ocean like neptune giving us jazz hands

had to drive through blyth power station to get here by the way. Don't know if it still exists, but it felt like i was becoming its fuel

there is a big ol' pipe at cambois which spews out sewage, and a dogging site where gays, it would seem, are not welcome

first sensation that welcomed me to newbiggin-by-the-sea was the smell of dog poo. Let's see if i can see that statue

these kinds of things are meant to be engineering marvels, not sensible compromises given situational constraints

RNLI were washing out their shed. Nice and warm here, pity about the rest of it

took the wrong turn off the coast road but ended up at QE2 country park. Lovely! It's got swans and a big lake and things.

arrived at druridge bay country park. Not the same thing cp druridge bay itself! Leaving, lovely scenery but no way i'm paying and displayin

was enticed to hauxley by a nature reserve. Lovely place! Good georgian buildings. Seem to have found the coast again.

brought a moleskine to write in but i'm using twitter instead. Which is more pretentious?

just noticed shozu hasn't been geotagging anything since blyth! Arr

failed to exit Amble pointing in the correct direction, hungry, clouds arrived, so I've come home

had a flash of inspiration for fencing controls

I concede defeat to this bug. It has me absolutely baffled, and is a show-stopper

fixed the bug! stupid y axis, hiding from me

@arowxGames another blitzer from the north-east! (I'm warpy on the bb.com forums btw)

@aperfect the internet is a scary place

at the barber's. Thought i might hit the lunchtime rush but apparently there's no such thing in pity me

@JSlayerUK I once accosted tony benn in the street at the miners' gala. he is a funny person

game is back on track. Had a brainwave

a whole month until the f1 starts! can't wait

@GreyAlien well done! Is 64bit support for the bigfishgames app in the works so I can try it out?

@GreyAlien I clicked that, but then the installer says "failed to open file for writing" for every file

@GreyAlien maybe just store tiny black/white pixmaps of each character, and apply effects at install/run time

@GreyAlien actually, just remembered my dad wrote the first ever kanji gui. I'll ask him how he did it

@GreyAlien if you're around, get latest github version of game, exciting new gameplay!

man, the end of being human was such a let-down

this student writes like a 4-year-old! getting on my nerves

@JSlayerUK congrats! what's the job?

there's a glaswegian on the news who used to drink 14 bottles of wine a day. Top Glaswegian!

Decimal Mod http://tinyurl.com/bgktac only way to play quake 3!

exploring bold new directions for bacon in cafe royal. Confit bacon - words can not describe the taste. My pants can

What is the deal with shoe shops only stocking up to size 9?

@sciencefest I've just discovered I'm in London the weekend of the makerfaire. What other sciencefest events do you recommend?

Curry sauce in the fridge has acquired to kill with a single taste

http://twitpic.com/1tlew - Check out me new clogs

Set off to work on time for once! Let's see if i can remember to do all my to dos

My new shoes are absolutely killing me. I can't feel my ankles any more

I like a lot of chocolate on my biscuit, and I have joined the Club

@sciencefest thanks, I've booked tickets to see the ig nobel thing!

Why are there vastly more boy ducks than girl ducks?

@NewcastleCC I'm reading The World of Jeeves by PG Wodehouse. I had avoided it for far too long. #wbd09

problems in my life: cold apples out of the fridgew

@JPickford is that in reference to the thing about boy ducks? I can't begin to see the connection between those things.

about to leave for tutoring. parked my car in an improbably small space last night, hope someone moved

reading candide again, had forgotten how completely bonkers it is. Need to increase the madness in the game

@naomzzb twitter's for, like, not msn but not email either. It grows on you.

"someone took a note in the face" - awesome dream which had a bubble bath explosion in it

"Brawn GP"? Really?

Pretty Lights is good music

WH Smith : now world of compasses, with protractor land

fat jazz man is singing! What a beautiful sight.

the new city library has those horrific metal slats across it like the life car park! Nice inside though

i guite enjoyed the yoko ono thing at the baltic

back at home, having a wonderful day

the new bbc weather thing keeps forgetting where I live

@aperfect here's a controversial thought for you - I think sunday morning might be my favourite track on tragic kingdom

@GreyAlien care to share?

@kenfodder yes! I love that advert too!

had a brainwave - use syllogisms in philosophy game

reading about tableau methods for proving first order logic theorems.

I've made an executive decision to get the htc magic, just need to wait a month for it to come out!

@sciencefest I loved eepybird yesterday! my bro took video: http://is.gd/moq3

I am at the limit of human boredom

reading a stats course. This isn't what I signed up for!

@brittneybean so they're saying the business world needs fewer people who understand finance? What?

PhD application submitted!

@aperfect are you thinking of starting a magazine?

stayed up far far too late last night, and downstairs were having a crazy loud party.

http://media.shozu.com/cache/portal/media/16b8a8/285213064 - 07032009179

@ShoZu just tried out twitter uploads, couldn't the url be shorter, something like tw.shozu.com/shortkey ? The truncated long url looks odd.

oh no! just remembered I was going to pick up my marking today, so I don't have to do it at the weekend! disaster plan!

random old lady just sat down opposite me in starbucks. She hasn't said a word.

pooped. Need burgers

in gbk!!!

just had a fantastic chicken melt and ice chocolate in caffe milan in kensington

@JSlayerUK it's been done, sorry

what? greek student has got his greek letters wrong. THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN AND WE WILL ALL FALL OFF!

@theyellowstereo I'm still getting 503 errors intermittently

@Martinmagnusson your concept game looks a lot like what I've been doing lately! I'd be interested to find out details of what it's doing

@aperfect did you like it?

@Martinmagnusson http://www.somethingorotherwhatever.com but the relevant stuff isn't up there yet. check out Trader though

just spent an hour and a half helping two guys with dendrograms. You may ask what they are. I did.

energy madness continues!

no idea what to do with my tutee today. Just printed out yet another past paper

getting my code repository back in order, should all be in one place now

@aperfect A Camp sucks and you suck

@kenfodder you could use street view in conjunction with geocoding diary entries - eg I went here to eat, visited dude at this place etc.

@aperfect that's why I use twhirl

why is it always the goths who are out enjoying the sunshine in the middle of the day?

my feet are quite perfectly perched out the window and to move them would reduce my enjoyment of the day considerably

making dendrograms of 2d points. Can't think what to do with them yet

aahh what is going on today? just reopened the code I was working on, and the file is blank!

@komiga luckily, I'd put it on the code archives when I finished it. On reflection, it's completely useless to me, so no problem!

100% free of ideas

I have died laughing listening to the letter 25 minutes into this week's bugle

so many of the daily rituals at the start and end of radio 4 seem like they were conceived expressly for the purpose of disseminating codes

I revise: the morning is for nuclear submarine launch codes, the night schedule is designed to make you doubt the worth of existence

@nilium I always thought nicholas cage was on a quest to become a dadaist self-parody

back to twitterfox, twhirl keeps forgetting what buttons do

techno-madness continues. I think my phone problems were down to the pagefile counting as free space, so it actually didn't have any spare

ahhh pepsi have changed the shape of their ringpulls my world is collapsing please help

the squirrel just dug something massive out of the ground and ate it on the fence. He seems much less rascallous now.

I am an intellectual wasteland. What to do?

hello what is this? Two of the Cowards in a programme called "Brave Young Men", on iplayer now.

listening to Na Na Ni by Fredrik, very cool

@blitzbasic Function a(n)
Return n=1 Or n*a(n-1)
End Function
Print a(5)

@blitzbasic better! Graphics 99,99
Local x#,y#
While 1
a=MouseX()*4
x=Abs(x+Cos(a)) Mod 99
y=Abs(y+Sin(a)) Mod 99
DrawRect x,y,1,1
Flip
Wend

@GreyAlien hah, I spend 10 minutes solving that guy's problem and writing out a nice explanation, and you beat me with "google it"!!

the first google suggestion for "how to use" is "how to use a condom"? get it the right way round??

finally working on picaresque again

@JSlayerUK sounds like me yesterday

the BPA is good music

@JSlayerUK I rampaged and destroyed sundries in my room

first picaresque commit in about three weeks!

@kenfodder that is like the stereotypical geek thing

@GreyAlien yeah, rub it in

@GreyAlien just had a look at my old bb.com posts, didn't realise you'd been stakling me for so long!

SOCKCESS! found a matching pair, so happy

http://tinyurl.com/ch9hqt - Love my new vans -

@aperfect do you want national trust membership again this year? the renewal letter's just arrived

yeesssss! I have conquered my radio watch! now both bits tell exactly the right time! today is a good day

maths is like the best JML product ever - every topic ends with 'but wait, there's more!'

no news make cp go crazy

@GreyAlien that had better not be a dig at me!

oh my god this dude has written more words criticising my article than I wrote in the original! http://tinyurl.com/d9dtge

@aperfect not up here, it's quite gloomy

pulled a muscle in my back while eating a bacon sandwich.

tesco chocolate sandwiches are my new favourite biscuit

what is the deal with sourceforge deciding it doesn't exist?

@nilium I was just looking at it, and then it didn't exactly stop responding but it won't load either. dns resolves, but no progress is made

@rossturk it stopped responding for a while. I was looking at it, then it stopped responding, but dns resolved fine and other sites worked

yahoo maps is so awful. flickr geotagging could be so much more useful

that shreddies hunger monster has started drumming on my tummy. Should've locked hunger up til lunch!

@aperfect I really can't see OnLive working

@aperfect looking space, ha! you've cropped even more of it off

@fatfieldfoodie hello!

@brittneybean take pictures! this will be a defining moment of our times!

shaved on the 1st!

finished the chocolate sandwiches, oh no!

wrote shunting-yard algorithm in blitz; it worked first time. Glad!

I flat out do not understand what it is hamilton and mclaren did.

why does washington smell of fish?

at dad's, he hasn't even been in the shower yet.

headphones don't fit my sprocket! Can't listen to the bugle, bummer

@aperfect you've changed, man

@kenfodder I'm having trouble at the moment trying to pay my final bill for scottish power. Shoddy business!

@aperfect massive hp touchsmart for £500 in fenwicks! Not good for nana but good deal, no?

@aperfect was 979 but it was returned and had a tiny bit of trim missing, otherwise mint condition

got my media player auto playlist working again, and I am listening to good music once more! happy day

wmp has started playing the next song down in the playlist, while claiming to be playing a different track

@aperfect was 979 but it was returned and had a tiny bit of trim missing, otherwise mint condition

gosh it's hot!

at the blacksmith's in belsay having poached egg and ham

mmmmmmmm

new red dwarf is not bad!

made Blitz on Rails

ping pong season is open!

incredibly, starbucks is still open

oh no, it's closed

is there an opposite of esprit d'escalier? I remembered something I said yesterday and thought it was exactly the right thing to say

got my PhD offer!

@arowxgames look at the list of people following @blitzbasic

@Martinmagnusson thanks! it's at newecastle university, same as my undergrad, on decision problems in group theory

@arowxgames what is it?

@arowxgames looked to me like the small one was on top of the big one. the light would be refracted on the inside one, which is hard to do..

this week's newswipe is good

oh dear, the bbc have used the same stock snake image twice in two different stories

oh, long-winded student! I haven't missed you at all!

long-winded student no.2 has managed to constrain himself to 3 times the average!

@arowxgames I take it that's not a 24hour clock?

I dislike students who use cheap paper

uncomfortably farty after a piri piri pizza

ethics: is it right to give arbitrary marks for copied answers in the hope that the one who gets fewer marks complains?

"The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire" - fantastic! She worked hard to get all that alliteration

my car's been broken into!

and then I locked myself out of the flat

wasted 8 quid on stronghold. too german-autistic for me

in fact, that's not my problem with it. It just has a rubbish interface and doesn't draw me in at al

going to have a go at 3d

@aperfect for example http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/ ?

I try not to be one of those people, but i'm sitting on my back step playing french radio and writing in a moleskine

hewwo! iplayer hd! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8008886.stm

wow it's good! I might stop watching normal telly

just had a girl at the door asking for Bruce and Conrad. Who's called Conrad these days, and why can't he give proper directions?

just learned that the doctor at the end of the street is called Konrad Conrad. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?

@JSlayerUK I was just last night trying to decide who I should vote for next time. I think labour are out unless they calm down about terror

@GreyAlien I'm working on the game again!

there is/was a mathematician called Houshmand! That settles it, my next pet/child has its name

there is no finer roll than the sub

got a headache from writing too much rad code

http://tinyurl.com/db2qmj - Discovered a whole new bit of jesmond dene!

got up and ready nice and early for work then remembered it doesn't start until next week!

Lucy Schwartz is perfect

tomato soup time!

I made a mistake - it was tuna sub time

one day I will remember the bit of code I keep commenting out first time

empty google reader for the first time in months. I am at the limit of nothing-to-do-tude

I am so massively sweaty

I can not understand how anyone could like puff pastry

just spent 30 minutes refuting a student's nonsense

just pulled a ferrari - wrong clothes for the weather

massively bored. Nobody comes to maths aid on sports wednesday!

so nobody came in for the whole three hours, then ten minutes before leaving time a torrent of people with really hard problems appeared!

xkcd has got a bit better lately

ruddy southern builders, coming up here and taking jobs from honest hardworking geordies

I will stop complaining about my graphomanic student when he stops giving his working in triplicate

why has every single student chosen the same "random" number for their encryption?

I just sneezed! Seems one of the many possible disease vectors I've encountered lately has given me swine flu

what a rip. the htc magic is £50 more in the vodafone shop than the vodafone website

parmageddon! thanks to ben goldacre for correctly naming the current disaster

o2 need to hurry up sending my PAC code

got my pac code! had to ring up for it again though

overshot by 45 minutes again at maths-aid

@fatfieldfoodie two students came in wanting their whole course explaining so I couldn't leave until 2.45

Magiiiiiiic!

@kenfodder that is fantastic!

I will have to accept that this phone is going to get a lot of food on it

Wikitude is mind-blowing

Best game so far on android is buka

@ToonLibraries how do the music download stations work? are they for music in the library or are they just ways of accessing web music shops

@aperfect they've always done us maps

@kenfodder but it's been leveraged to be much more useful!

@aperfect you also won't get to servant live game because there's no way I'm going with you

@fatfieldfoodie my winner phone can play iplayer anywhere, unlike yours!

any suggestions for a text message noise? the goat is getting old

K-9 news was making my phone really slow, and I've now found the real email app so all is good

@JSlayerUK there are plenty of non-superhero comic book characters

At the race for life, hyperdosing might cure my colourblindness

The crowd goes wild as cp gets the Frisbee down from the tree by throwing the stick with a rope attached over it and pulling on the rope

A totally rank smell has appeared in my room, no idea where from

Chris waddle has a mondo crazy accent

saw a kid in wh smiths wearing a "white pride is not racism" t shirt. nice.

daaaamn! I forgot flight of the conchords was on tonight

making a sort of object database thing with lazy evaluation

long-winded student is the bane of my existence

I was just thinking about eyepatches and then i saw a girl with an eyepatch

helped a zimbabwean lady pick a mouse

having a technology nightmare

oh my god I love the smell of PVA

@JSlayerUK good luck!

couldn't even park on my own street!

@JSlayerUK no chicks?

who likes lo-fi music? what do these people look like? I don't understand.

another uninspiring emusicsmas. can anyone recommend some good new summery music?

writing nonsense on big paper

it's socks o'clock, time to go outside while it's sunny

oh wow, they're still updating rinkworks.com!

bought the settlers for my phone. it's not the game I know and love!

that pizza has had its awful revenge

the singleton design pattern as applied to socks: a case study. c perfect, 2009

one day I will think of a way of taking a book to the park without also having to take my big backpack

gosh heaton park's a lovely place

this dude next to me is not afraid to get his hands dirty in order to get the most out of his rolo choc pot

@aperfect but then I'll be a poser because it's an obscure classic

@aperfect oh no! tragedy!

FINALLY cracked my elbow! sweet relief!

said 'good morning!' to some poachers in the park. very agreeable chaps

minor achievements in a dog's life: picking up all of your toys at once

@aperfect spymaster is a pretty straightforward click-em-up. I've got am idea for a much better twitter game

@aperfect crouton

@aperfect tinny

@aperfect attain

shut up, gordon brown!

it's hard to plan meals when it's so hot

yellow doesn't go with green, does it?

@kenfodder it's been the same here for a while, thanks to the RIP act

@brittneybean they're great! the video for 'multiplayer' is ace

@aperfect cool new show at the design museum, according to front row

continuing my quest to clone ruby on rails in blitzmax, I've made an http server and the clever routing system

so massively chuffed with myself for making this http server work

the usb in my laptop has died, maybe it'll come back

saw a woman jogger with massive teeth as she ran past, she spoke American

just had an epic question answering session with a lady from the office of national statistics

@GreyAlien so that'll be two books then?

just found opening-times.co.uk. it's like isabevigodadead.com for sainsburys

textile has horrible syntax and I should've stuck with reST

on the flowchart of which animals avoid which other animals, apparently there is no route between me and bunny rabbits.

finally joy my B-tree algorithm working, after deciding to ignore the weird academic explanations and look at pretty graphs

@aperfect man, that sounds like exactly what I'm making

@aperfect David eddings has died!

I think one of yesterday's socks is stuck in my trousers but I'm in waitrose. and I can't check

man, no sock. what is this odd sensation in my pants?

phew,my xbox is still in warranty

the ups collection address form has a 'shire' field, below 'street' but above 'county'

dreamt that a geordie accentuate was the most efficient way of speaking

on my way to hexham for some cowboy kettle chili mix

going to have a look at hadrian's wall now

at chesters cavalry fort. rain can not touch god's own Northumberland, the weather is glorious

English Heritage is a total rip.

TCP and burnt tomatoes are on opposite ends of my smells preference spectrum

everyone is uncomfortably full after chili con queso

oh no spicy burps!

dare to dream: room revolution '09 in progress

@GreyAlien happy birthday! Hope you had a good one

Every time I walk into my room it cheers me up, now I've rearranged it

I'm not a fan of this belly any more, going to get rid of it

Rival teams of ticket inspectors arguing on the platform about who gets the next train

I walked straight past whitley bay because I've only been there when it's dark, and when I got back I managed to walk to monkseaton station

I need something to do

I find it so much easier to sketch with massive permanent markers than with normal sized pens

Just bought a bunch of pens, but not enough to justify a carrier bag. Now walking through heaton looking like I've got double thigh cancer

Man, I got a bum deal on these pens. Not going to that shop again

Going to attempt mulligatawny soup for the first time.

I love the gordon brown impression in 'the secret world' on radio 4

I've been stuck at home all morning trying to establish what's wrong with the phone wiring

MS sent me a brand new xbox with a new warranty and a month's free xbox live. Nice!

http://s3fm.co.uk/permanentbedtime mmmmm

Paid a fiver to go on the worlds tallest spinny thing at the hoppings. Well worth it!

Going to tynemouth farmers market, probably won't make it back for qualifying

Just noticed that all the signs at wallsend metro are in Latin

Bought some top food and might just make it back for the end of quali

Loving some Munk while I install the new windows

forgot it was emusicsmas. This day gets better!

This 'real Cumberland bacon' is the saltiest thing I've ever eaten

What does one eat at kfc? I think we're going to get some

Finishing off the world's saltiest bacon by making a BLT pizza

@androidandme Google chrome has blacklisted your site for apparently hosting malware. Might be to do with your new host?

I miss sitting outside in my pyjamas on a sunny day

Wow, the chaser's war on everything is on bbc four at ten tonight. Ace!

Why does the whole of kingston park smell of rich, melting chocolate? I am losing my mind to desire

@beefok strewth, that's a grim thing to post about

Playing battlefield heroes, have yet to see the Nazis lose

at dad's house, comparing phones. Mine is clearly loads better, why won't he admit it?

Bought a maths book that was 198 years old for a fiver at tynemouth book fayre. Fascinating!

Just dominated battlefield heroes. Feeling pretty special

Accidentally made a massive omelette instead of a normal one, to go with my chips and onion rings. It's full of bacon as well

@alimcg86 I know how it feels! that's what I have to pay whenever I want shoes.

three pigeons and a blackbird having fun in a puddle; cp not welcome

Where's the thunder storm the bbc insisted would be arriving during my constitutional? I could still be out there in the glorious sunshine!

Not a fan of the beetle having a kip on top of my (sealed) bag of chicken

Can't believe how unbalanced the snipers are in bfh

Phone was in sun; put phone in pocket; leg is burnt

@canwegoclub I prefer to think of it as a tax on optimists

@canwegoclub I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life, so I'll be more shocked than you if I win

Had a lovely day at the beach with Leo and Gabi

Leo just spotted an engraving error in the 1986 entry on the Wimbledon champions board. Top spotting!

@eqdynamics I don't think he's on twitter

God I love being out in the rain

At the hospital, dad is negotiating the terms of his release with the consultant

Just finished Michael Frayn's Collected Columns, which I enjoyed a lot

@aperfect what have you bought?

@JSlayerUK What happened? My mum wants to know

Saw a blackbird with some white feathers. How did that happen?

@nilium it wasn't an albino, it just had a few patches of white

The steak caesar salad at cafe royal owns me

I'm very confident that the channel 4 comedy sponsor guy bust now be the most hated man in Britain

Adam is fluffy traveller of the month July 2009

in America! We had dinner then lunch on the plane, and now it's 8pm local time. Do we need dinner again?

Jackson Hole is a really cool place

On the way to yellowstone!

In Cody, Wyoming. Scared by the patriotism and the guns and the Fox News. Hope the food is good

Oh no, Adam has started snoring! If I wanted to listen to that, I would've gone on holiday with dad

Spare ribs at Ted's Montana Grill was the best meal in America

Aaargh, the f1 sounds like an amazing race and I can't watch it in yankytowne!

Enjoyed the baseball quite a bit. My Rockies won, or rather, Adam's Giants lost

back in England, with stories for all and gifts for some!

SEVENTY TWO EMAILS? Never leaving the house again

real dairy milk is better than almost everything I ate in america

I have parked in BMWland. And I'm half an hour early for the flight. I blame Leo

@AndyOvine har har funny

@GreyAlien you sound like one of the fat cats from a looney tunes cartoon, endlessly monologuing the flow of money

Sat down for fish and chips in saltburn ready to enjoy an honest English meal and I was given an American can of coke! There is no escape!!!

"what a fun, sexy time for you"

A robin just flew into my room, close enough for me to grab it if I'd wanted. Was it on a dare?

Aahc 4od is stuck in an endless advert loop. The 3 comedy guy is the worst person in the world

Arrived at the Gite, and the TV only gets British channels. WHAT.

@aperfect what does that mean?

just did a little bike ride on the gite dude's road bike. Less comfortable than riding a horse

if pigs could fly, would the wings be the tastiest part?

The number of French magazines with bare breasts on their covers is astonishing. Quite a few are hardly relevant to the subject matter at al

I love the new mstrkrft album

new cabinet magazine! Just renewed as well, and I can't believe how cheap it is for what you get.

@aperfect nana says there's a jazz festival in canary wharf this weekend

Walk on the Wild Side is very funny

@mmm_newcastle would you be able to stock Jardine's Cowboy Kettle Chili? I've only ever found it in hexham waitrose and can't afford the gas

my Eternal Knee Rash has just started itching. I feel like a Pompeiian at the foot of a Vesuvius which has just started rumbling.

@badmachinery I hope the new comic includes more irishisms, that was funny

really wish 4od would give me the benefit of the doubt when skipping past ads; I'm stuck in a loop of the I Hate The Three Guy Show

@aperfect no!

yyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss! Winning a gold medal on Trials HD Hill Climb has pleased me more than my A Level and GCSEs combined. PRIORITIES!!

@arowxGames oh go on then, can I haveva password? Got to help local industry and all that...

@arowxGames ooh didn't see it, it was in my junk folder. Forget the email you just got

@arowxGames I can't download the exe, it gives a 404

@aperfect mum just told me not to bother celebrating wins because newcastle aren't in a real league

I have a flat! A ruddy expensive flat, though

Sitting in maths aid, no customers, bored silly

@mmm_newcastle my little brother says king naga chilli should never be eaten by anyone ever. He warned me at one point he was about to pop!

Hopesolutely

Why is there an Australian lady doing the public announcements on the metro?

@chiefchimpanzee I hope your Edinburgh show went better than that joke

@chiefchimpanzee it was actually quite clever, I was trying to think of something like the agency thought it was for the other newcastle...

@aperfect innteellliiimoooooouuusseee

arrgh, spelunky is so hard!

This week's walk on the wild side was brilliant!

Finally watched The Lives of Others, great film to watch on your own

Saw an old lady with an eyepatch. She was parrrtially sighted.

Ahhh radio 4 please stop picking books at bedtime which are all about people dying

I can see the bt man fiddling with the exchange. Maybe my internet is getting activated now and not this morning like they claimed!

New word - phtissitation: the realisation that the fruit you have been allowing to ripen for several days is completely tasteless

this woman on the metro looked alright ten minutes ago, but she's *still* putting makeup on. Know when to stop, orange lady!

aagh, why won't my heating turn on?

Nyooooooo: the sound I made when the anonymous youtube link I clicked on turned out to be titled "Kick-boxing leg break"

I am a mathematical god! Proved recursion with parameter substitution is primitive recursive all on my own, bet you couldn't do that.

going for a walk along the Tyne. South Shields actually looks quite appealing from a distance. Must be a crazy sea mirage

This sketchy pub is playing some really cool 60s lounge jazz. I think if I went in they'd ask what space age material my shoes are made from

I like grabbing my big toe with all the little toes on my other foot. I feel like a monkey

trying to buy some new disposable fountain pens and discovering office supply companies' ridiculous delivery fees

Adventureland was like a good Garden State

@kenfodder except the link doesn't have a name separate from its destination, and the sets of URLs and files do not overlap

my foppish urban haircut couldn't deal with the grim realities of Tynemouth; it had to go

"this album is turbo sweet"

At one point there were five people trying to work out how to issue me a smartcard and they still managed to spell my name wrong.

Pate on toast has only made me hungrier. Stupid smooshed up animals.

the milling on copella bottletops is painfully sharp

Just walked round to the co-op to buy some meat for dinner and it's been ram-raided or something.

God North Shields is rough. I saw someone get pulled over by the police, a hearse, and was stared down by an old lady crossing the road.

There is a lady selling posh popcorn at stanhope farmers' market. That is past my limit for ridiculous posh food

inadvertently used my fountain pen as a nose flute

yuk, my flat is insect central at the moment

Not only are this year's freshers taller than me, they're better looking too. I blame the labour government.

at the "I think I can see food!" stage, or day 2, of opening this packet of biscuits

just noticed that I get synaesthesia with moments from my life when I think maths

Meena's curry sauces are perfect. There is no better curry sauce.

if the turkmenbashi was still alive, he would put an i in team.

peeled a national front sticker off the metro. Sat and waited til nobody was watching though, not sure why.

why would google maps be smoother in firefox than chrome? Any ideas?

@aperfect disaster! Did they steal any of your crisp wrappers?

dead pigeon outside the nanotechnology lab. Maybe it had a... LITTLE accident?

I think every ingredient in this bacon cheeseburger I'm making has gone off. We'll find out tomorrow!

email from nana "RE: RICH GRANDSON". Rumours of my wealth have been greatly exaggerated.

Not sure how that many snails managed to get on the *inside* of the wheelie bin

@aperfect don't get the pre, get one of the shiny new android phones with a real camera and such

the ending of Charlotte's Web happened onto my car

Grey-haired lady with a nosering: it's repulsive and clearly interfering with your breathing. What's the deal?

Bored bored bored bored. Does anyone need any maths explaining whatsoever? I've been here since 10am!

the secret to lifelong happiness: hide bonus chocolate in your cupboards

Does anyone want to be my walking buddy? Nothing strenuous, just the public footpaths of tyneside

@dumbfirefly I have your background image on a t-shirt!

Tried to make a tuna sandwich; accidentally made tomato soup

How did I not notice the new series of The Thick Of It?

Died on the 26th of October 2009 watching House of Cosbys

@aperfect there's a spotify app as well, which I think your trendy laaaandan payscale can afford

WHERE ARE THESE FLIES COMING FROM?

@nilium not sure about that, they're big fellas

@peterrowlett I have lists too. Your maths one is very useful!

@JSlayerUK Yes, really yes. Unless he works for My Daughter is Wrong Enterprises PLC or something.

Pushchairs five abreast appeared round the corner. What was I meant to do? Your honour, the defence rests

@JSlayerUK all the museums in London closed at 5pm and I thought of you

Why are there so many French people in tynemouth today?

new BOAT album!

What are tynemouth's men wearing this season? Trousers tucked into socks. Chic!

Mum: "if there could be a bonfire, I'd put Roger McGough on it"

@peterrowlett what are you doing in newcastle? That's where I am!

oh my lord that Pie Minister steak and stout pie was exactly what I needed

ahh, tynemouth is a swing seat, might have to vote labour! I want my lib dem protest vote!

@peterrowlett hate to be one of those people, but did you get my email? My boss (Bill Foster) would like to see you as well, if you've time.

going to the lit phil on a reccy

Went to the lit and Phil on a reccy. Maybe I'll join eventually, but not now

Fort Christian has fallen to the Yawns..

Enlightening chat with @peterrowlett about CBAs and outreach, but shouldn't've made him walk the length of the town with all his luggage

@peterrowlett all the routes are scenic up here

aaaah I am doing too many jobs my brain is melting meltinggggggggg

haskell is nice for doing maths programming

@aperfect you are a wrong

@fatfieldfoodie I said the same thing about the cutlery! Didn't like my ceasar salad there either

@GreyAlien once you get the idea it's not that bad. I'm a way away from making a game yet though

3d channel 4 doesn't look very 3d

wow, free access to the cabinet magazine archive online for subscribers! That will occupy me for a long time

trying to work out how to represent pregroups in haskell

argh emusicsmas came too soon, I hadn't used all of last month's credits!

Group structure of a Rubik's cube in a black box with a cat peeling its stickers off, C Perfect, B Tormey 2009

@peterrowlett they're in the building next to mine. Will investigate, thanks. Not so sure it's more mathsy than engineeringy though

tonight I have added all the papers I've ever read to @mendeley_com

why do spiders like crawling up plugholes?

@peterrowlett Green's Theorem! That is an excellent mug! So are they more mathsy now, or was that the extent of it?

really not comfortable with paypal asking for a new security question and password during a transaction

the ticket machine at the station "couldn't connect to the TOD server". What to do?

Glasgow Subway: I banged my head on you; you are too small.

Oh no, the grandparents have started Christmas shopping! Won't get a nice seat on the metro until January now.

mary berry's caesar dressing tastes very sweet and not like caesar dressing, but I like it a lot.

I offer a prize of a tasty cake to anyone who can show a correlation between any economic phenomenon and the appearance of the panpipe dudes

@kenfodder even powershell?

@badmachinery envirocat tote bag arrived today. Probably a rash purchase, but it is very nice and I will heed its message.

left alone in a house full of chocolate treats which are all about to go off. There are only a few ways events can proceed; one is very fun.

really not happy with raindrops falling on me while I'm driving through the tyne tunnel

done a Ferrari again. Should've brought my umbrella and my coat, brought neither and now fearing getting off the metro

@peterrowlett see the maths hall in the science museum, but you already know that. The names of some of the Napier's bones clones are ace!

Keep forgetting I'm working with groups instead of pregroups and making things far too complicated

@peterrowlett gosh you're busy!

oh, the A History of Scotland that's on the iplayer at the moment is a second series! Fun!

@badmachinery what new solange album? it's not on amazon or spotify

£3.50 for digitalriver to "keep a copy of my download of windows 7" in case I need it again. Not totally sure how that works.

@badmachinery oh. That one's good

@badmachinery of course; they are a treasure of humanity, just like the Vedas - http://www.textfiles.com/underconstruction/

@peterrowlett could you remind me of the benefits of MathML wrt accessibility in e-assessment? I need to convince some lazy developers

composed a haiku yesterday, forgot to tweet it, performed it in my dream last night, nobody paid attention IN MY OWN DREAM

I did not know there was a moai in tynemouth

Watching the world's keenest Labrador play catch on the beach. It's inspiring; it should be the warmup act for Barack Obama

Previous Me was so much more talented than I am

Christian's cooking Christmas crinkle cookie cakes!

my front door was open all day!!!

the smell of the ready-meal carbonara in the oven is filling me with disgust. It really doesn't look appetising, but there's nothing else!

@JSlayerUK re itchy palm money: I've been trading in futures and derivatives of it and it all belongs to RBS now. sorry.

aaaaaahh, installing haskell packages on windows is so difficult!

longest game of Civ ever

So have they cancelled my metro or what? I even got to the station five minutes early today, and no dice

@Martinmagnusson no GoodBoy(x) and GoodGirl(y) predicates?

Rrrrrrr rrrrrr rrrrrrr aaaaaaaa aaaaa aaaaa rrrrrrrrrr! Bad day

I have cleared out Borders' maths section

uploading 3gb of videos... GCSE to A-Level maths students, watch this space.

@maanow can't believe how long that minutemath took me

just realised I did everything else on my to-do list but forgot to make lunch!

@maanow I did *not* notice that the triangles are right-angled! My solution is so much more complicated.

saw some hare krishna chuggers on northumberland street wearing berghauses. Fairly sure that's not allowed

what on earth are middlesbrough doing at 11th in the championship?

christian's cooking christmas crinkle cookie cakes encore

I just want to sleep in until the today programme finishes!

Today I'm carrying my home-baked cookies in to work in a tote bag I bought off an artist. Come and get me, boys.

70 RSJ maths videos uploaded, titled and described! Hooray!

Ah! There is my snow!

Charles Kennedy looks like ginger hitler

@MarcusduSautoy christmas twitter challenge - can you document the untangling of your christmas lights as a series of reidemeister moves?

could the four-colour theorem be applied to a many-santas scenario so no naughty child up late on christmas eve sees more than one st nick?

tried to be clever making gift tags; instead was disastrously un-so

Got 99 problems but lunch ain't one

@peterrowlett asymptote is a very nice package for getting graphics into latex, though a bit fiddly to set up on windows at first

@AndyOvine that picture is brilliant!

Yeah I'm pretty good at maths

considering reusing my 1kg dairy milk wrapper as a document wallet

getting sick of top gear's weekly "you couldn't make it up!" moment

wheeee I love Michel Legrand's Paris Jazz Piano!

Maths aid is eerily quiet today

Moliere the film is some Grade A trash but I loves it

@aperfect not where YOU are. That's maaaaaaaaaaaths!

" lxgr'l'hyr=lxrlyr, or gr'l'h=rl. " Yep, that's what I do all day. No, I'm not a Klingon.

@JSlayerUK report it to the council and then shake with impotent rage.

FINISHED RIMLINGER!!!!!!!!!!

@aperfect posh new bbc recordings tickets site - http://tinyurl.com/yengu5y

the human condition: it is really difficult to look in someone else's utensils drawer and find the garlic crusher

oh dear, I think I want to switch to analysis. How can I do this without my supervisor noticing?

used my two free hours this morning to clean the house; now I'm too knackered to do anything else

wahey! I'm finally on the first page of google for "christian perfect"! take that, bible fans!

I am going loco trying to conserve kinetic energy in a model of a 2d elastic collision! Aaaaaaah!

complaining about a problem immediately leads to its solution - I had written the kinetic energy formula down wrong

there's this weird foam floating down the street...

I wish the uniqlock was the only thing in the world

Made enchiladas. Forgot to buy sour cream. Food-too-hot haiku.

Not happy about riding a scotrail train in Northumberland. Checked the back for a livestock carriage when I got off.

yep, pretty bored. Where are all the students?

@Gelada what open source computer assessment software would you prefer? I'm in a similar situation

today is like my anti-birthday. So far I've sprained my wrist and my car battery has died. What else could happen?

oh wow, mathjax is exactly what we need! http://tinyurl.com/yfzprsx

Going to see the ny met opera live broadcast at tyneside cinema.

crikey, sunderland really are bad at football, aren't they?

might start one of those harsh photoblogs, called "photos of groups of mathematicians". We are really not photogenic.

The man opposite me looks like a business man but is scrawling on a pad of paper like a complete nutso. Maybe he's just trying out a new pen

Mr accordion busker man, a tip: do not busk with your accordion within earshot of the other accordion busker man

the milling on copella bottle lids is quite sharp. #middleclassstruggle

@aperfect YES

there are not many logician-comedians: "Kleeneliness is next to Gödeliness"

@aperfect there is also wahaca

@peterrowlett must confess I saw it on Wikipedia and couldn't resist tweeting it. Got a few new followers as a result!

@jefferickson could you explain that one please? Are 'Pillsbury' topoi an actual thing or did you put that in to make the joke work?

making a directed semantic graph of the topics dealt with at maths-aid because I take my work too seriously

I've had a pretty fun night making this http://tinyurl.com/yahsvgn

I will call my first son Genre, pronounced "Henry". Thanks, TV!

SENOR DEMANDS NACHOS!!!

@standupmaths I'd say he looks beside himself with anger but I'm not sure how to tell for sure

"Has Elvis left the building? Location of rockstars in non-Euclidean geometries, C Perfect 2010" (inspired by @standupmaths)

I just saw two foxes run across the metro track! Real proper foxes with bushy fox tails and red fox hair and everything!

@kenfodder happy birthday!

just realised I've been reading the wrong paper for the past week! No wonder it didn't say anything like what it was supposed to.

@beefok if you need any help with diff eqs, I'm around

@JSlayerUK you might be low on electrolytes, or salt.

Somebody come to north shields tesco and stop me buying all the posh food please

when I picked this beef steak up I started salivating like a dog. Beef: better than bacon?

never try to explain cantor's diagonalisation argument to your software engineer father

From the looks one the faces of the dudes on the metro, I assumed nufc had lost. I will never understand the toon army

This jazz solo is a bit too real for me. I wonder if the other people on the metro can tell that my mind is being blown to pieces

@JSlayerUK that backslash is to get the LaTeX symbol for pi.

@standupmaths what age range are these kits aimed at?

oh crikey! that is a proper blizzard out there! what's going on?

just peeled a lot of my finger off

reading the worst possible explanation of what category theory is. My enthusiasm is waning

@aperfect fungible micro-products, integer-derived plus-selling. Automatic consensus?

oh lordy I had even forgotten that the TeX for 'times' is... \times !

@peterrowlett that's v interesting! I'm 'disabled' due to asperger's. I'm sure once the new diagnosed cohort go to uni, that % will increase

I've started a blog to write up notes about my research (and practice my LaTeX skills): http://bit.ly/9whxl7

new metric of indie hipness: proportion of shazam tagging attempts that fail

Fell victim to pernicious combinatorics in Boots. If I'd picked up a snack and another six-pack of tissues, it would've cost me a pound less

@rockhyrax does it need radiotherapy?

Mr Efficient is on the metro. He folds his paper in half twice, neatly. He puts it in his satchel in one movement. He wears a scarf.

@Bishnavitch sebastien tellier

Poserphones: noise-cancelling headphones that play the trendy music of the day outwards while you listen to Leona Lewis in total secrecy

Had breakfast at the serpentine bar and kitchen. Very nice!

@JSlayerUK oh wow, that story has it all!

doodle #1 http://brizzly.com/pic/1E5K

A thousand curses on Springer-Verlag and their ridiculous fees for downloadable papers!

yep, walked the wrong way down an escalator.

@brittneybean who collects subscription fees?

aha, a breakthrough! thesis not ruined after all!

@standupmaths say what you like about flog it and its ilk but they're the only format left not to have a "celebrity" version

@standupmaths clearly I don't watch enough daytime telly. I suppose there's been a celebrity edition of Jeremy Kyle as well?

New mathem-o-blog post: Serre's Graphs and Trees (http://bit.ly/caEnl4)

PhD Quest! Your command?
>write paper.
I'm sorry, you don't understand that
>read paper.
>write paper.
I'm sorry, you don't understand that!

@kenfodder "snail mail" always makes me think of Live 'n' Kicking on Saturday mornings

feeling very autistic today. threw a wobbly at the clingfilm because it split down the middle, then walked around the flat humming for a bit

why can't food wait until it's ready to eat before it smells so tasty?

bonza! found a cross country train going to Newcastle that's completely empty. so long, half term kids!

@aperfect nice! I might use that for the outreach website.

Mr Serious is on the metro. He wears a black coat with a reassuring texture. He puts on his black gloves. He likes how warm they are.

@aperfect HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, a box!

@standupmaths wot no reynolds number joke?

crikey, 25% of this paper is the bibliography. Five pages!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I can see the fnords aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

sign me up to www.girlsinwelliesteasingtheirdogwithabunchofseaweedonthebeach.com please

@aperfect you are your father's son

thank you, spotty youth in john Lewis, for finding me chopsticks just before closing time

@kenfodder so it *is* a G!

no way have I caught yet another cold. Have I offended my immune system?

I don't like listening to live recordings on my headphones because they have a reverb as if they're being played out loud

bought two boxes of tissues but left them on the metro. now there'll be a bomb scare *and* I'm still snotty!

@aperfect yep, that link doesn't work for me

@brittneybean because it's for kids and kids like colourful things, viz. the OLPC

chalking up some future maths in OneNote. Draw with pen, scroll with finger, clever handwriting recognition. It's the way of the future!

maybe burger king exploded? there are alarms and Northumberland street smells of beef

made sure not to forget my shopping bag this time; forgot my backpack instead

next time I need to fry an egg I will take it to the new bit of Eldon Square where it is hot enough for that to happen

@JSlayerUK you live in the wrong bit of the country!

@badmachinery BRAVO! I will pass this off as my own to the rest of the maths department on Monday

@peterrowlett @Gelada interesting podcast this week! I do find most episodes quite whispery though, could you put your best radio voice on?

@GreyAlien how do they stop? feet?

@dumbfirefly I've seen the same asked about agrarian society. not in glossy fashion magazines, though

Good tutoring today, student much brighter than expected. She sat module 3 after only three weeks, got an E. What's going on in schools?

New mathem-o-blog post: Computable Groups (http://cli.gs/GLTED)

just saw some class war happening. policeman stopped a guy just for wearing Kappa

@standupmaths I'm not too fond of that proof because shearing doesn't happen in real life, so it's not convincing without a bit more thought

@Gelada as a wireframe, yes. It's not too obvious the enclosed area stays the same though. Just an intuition thing, I suppose.

defined a \fgoagog command in LaTeX. Having a good day.

@standupmaths that book is following in the fine tradition of Byrne's translation of Euclid's elements: http://bit.ly/9kz7v6

@standupmaths that day could be the 1st of May if you order the taschen reprint

stuck in a (maths -> facebook -> maths -> twitter -> maths -> food) loop

@JSlayerUK oh my God that is brilliant! that news is like a late Christmas present from Schaden Claus

@alexbellos I will do that because I've just seen the American title and it is just as bad a pun as the British one

did too many things today. My mind is a blank and I am unable to do anything until bedtime.

this is a very interesting paper http://bit.ly/aH0s3z

@aperfect forgot about that! He should be your mascot

typing blue plaque locations into google maps, whose search is entirely failing me. Fairly sure I'm looking at nelson street, google!

@mathpunk I thought you had that game wrong in the interview, but thought saying so on twitter would be too snarky. Makes more sense now!

I've put the locations of all the blue plaques in Newcastle on google maps: http://bit.ly/brW9oP . I intend to photograph them all

waaaayyyyy canada! I expect the Queen to deliver a message of congratulation tomorrow

Why do Southern Electric need a minibus? New biofuel initiative?

some ill dog has been painting the pavements of tynemouth a rich brown

@JSlayerUK religious people are quite keen on them

@JSlayerUK religious people vote. I really think that's the top and bottom of it.

@alexbellos free book to the first person without any tweets to RT you?

@Gelada it has always annoyed me that the JUM has no abstracts. The maths might be unpublishable, but I might want to cite it all the same!

New mathem-o-blog post: Groups and the Grzegorczyk Hierarchy (http://bit.ly/bFslED)

@GreyAlien The Pru deal and the fact the tories aren't going to win the election. The Today programme told me so, so it must be true

@alexbellos another vote for John Conway, didn't think about it for too long though

@JSlayerUK and can you believe some people press the lift button more than once even though it doesn't help? I bet that winds you right up!

Micro Chips! I am twelve again

@standupmaths I'm sure there's a niche for a channel with 37-minute programmes so it's always out of phase with other channels' ad breaks

@peterrowlett I can see it

wow, £4.99 for a thermos bottle but £34.99 if I want hannah montana on it. I think I can tell what my parenting style will be.

Swype is a very nice alternative keyboard for android. Very fast!

Newcastle have a goal difference of 40. That is insane.

still haven't forgiven the person who renamed Toppers to Frosted Wheats

@aperfect nice picture

Very good article - RT @Math_Bits: What were Einstein and Gödel talking about? http://bit.ly/cZcZV2

wahey, got JMEs working in SCORM! Took me a day, after waiting since November for the specs.

some element of what I ate today has poisoned me

going to the toilet with a feeling of trepidation is no way to live

new f1 season, IPL starting, and a new cabinet magazine! A relatively good time to be ill, really.

wow, I've lost almost a stone since I (1) started taking the stairs instead of the lift and (2) caught gastroenteritis

hah! West Gate Community College is now called 'Excelsior Academy'! Was Mr Wakelam involved?

.@mathematicsprof forget all that, I'm preparing for one big blow-out megaparty in Graham's Year

@Gelada I'm sure we can find a home for it at the Newcastle Uni maths department

@Gelada Maybe get in touch with our MathSoc - http://bit.ly/cinjgP

@brittneybean I imagine Florida is full of those now

Dead wasp on the pavement.that's wrong in a couple of ways

@aperfect what they mean is he didn't attack a WPC

@JSlayerUK stage left or your left? Ken might be offended!

ah, there it is! http://bit.ly/9PyClM "dangerous knowledge" - superb documentary about cantor and infinity and so on

what do you do when your phone has failed three times to send a message saying, "never mind"?

el Michels Affair sounds far too much like Menahen Street Band

making all kinds of noises about these burgers

@aperfect more to the point, who even remembers domain names any more?

just noticed that gazza is holding a bottle of broon in the mural at monument metro. How unfortunate.

oh no, now the bad juju is messing with the TV signal! This must be killing me somehow

Dreamt last night that I had a new kitchen from john lewis. It was beautiful!

The Ball With the Scary Noise In It is now an un-toy according to the dog. He walked right over it and refuses to acknowledge its existence

@fumbleweeds hello, who are you?

@fumbleweeds he's married! Crikey! Nice to meet you, and so on. Thanks re. feeds

@mathpunk at least you can say it's not cooperating today, and not at various moments sprinkled throughout history

it's only 9am and I've already heard the phrase "hot and cold running chicks" twice

I must find a way to become a member of the Mathematical Society of Traffic Flow

@brittneybean that sounds like the kind of event rolling news channels turn up to

the jazz soundtrack to my life has returned! Today will go pleasingly, hep cats

oh good god, "lizzie and sarah" is absolutely the most harrowing comedy programme I have ever seen. My perfect day is ruined already!

haven't heard of most of them, oh dear! RT @nulibsage: Most influential British women in history of science http://bit.ly/d3iWLt

@standupmaths how do I know you're not the person who stole Matt's phone and the password hasn't in fact been changed?

@brittneybean Nokia bh-501 - http://bit.ly/b227wa I like them a lot but I am not an audiophile. They work with every device I've tried.

@divbyzero the princeton companion to mathematics has a very good (and long) article about maths and music, fi you can get hold of a copy

Things I am tired of seeing in "maths art": the fibonacci series, the golden ratio, mobius strips, klein bottles. Think of something new!

@aperfect which makes it not even maths

@Gelada "there are some animations here" in the caption for the polytope image doesn't have a link attached - shouldn't there be one?

There are many be-flat-capped men pacing around the station. Something's up, but what?

@aperfect yeah that's my new vampire weekend tribute band

@Gelada very good article, I should have said as well!

@badmachinery milliners make hats

Had loads of fun making origami prisms and pyramids to help my tutee with geometry

@badmachinery that kind of joke is why you are the UK's top professional web cartoonist. All is forgiven!

I've been trying all day to procrastinate by chatting and nobody has co-operated!

@nulibsage did rather better on that one thanks. No, I didn't know about Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, and that's what made me remark

Fog is optical communism

@standupmaths I'm sure the barbican is ripe for some topology or graph theory puzzles: pick a random visible walkway then try to get there.

YES PLEASE NEXUS please do extend the metro to washington!

@rockhyrax turnitin?

@brittneybean because the only content anyone would conceivably pay for is editorial and investigative pieces - breaking news is everywhere

@JSlayerUK Papal infallibility only applies to ex cathedra statements, ie ones where he specifically says "This is for reals yo"

@JSlayerUK PS 'nonce' is a horrible word

@trackinthebox don't share your taste most of the time, but I really like Thomas Tantrum in that list.

@fumbleweeds does it give the same results for everybody?

was forcing myself to keep working and do a 9 to 5, until I realised I started at 7. Free, free, finally free!

why do girls in burger places always give me a bigger burger than the one I ordered?

@nilium feel sorry about what?

Seagulls in clear morning light giving me flashbacks of the bbc four ident

Mathsy arts beyond the usual fibonacci rubbish (after the first 10 or so, at least) - really cool stuff http://bit.ly/cobH4F

@JSlayerUK I am, but I don't think where I am is interesting information

"Eggs are... just a brainwave, aren't they?" - Mum

@NewcastleCC was there ever any truth in that civic centre rabbits story?

My nana looks like Little Miss Stalin in that coat

@NewcastleCC thanks, all my colleagues in the maths department have been inviting me to the facebook group. You'd think they'd know better!

Just realized I have a philosophical objection to -54 being a number

I've started a public collection of interesting maths finds on Mendeley - http://bit.ly/9o2a6Q

@alexbellos I bought my non-mathematician mum your book for her birthday and she says it is very good and accessible. Well done!

I have joined the dog in being scared of the washing machine

New mathem-o-blog post: Interesting papers collection (http://bit.ly/baPzeD)

the Tory Action Squad has been deployed to tynemouth metro station. Will they start a social enterprise to pick up the discarded leaflets?

@standupmaths mathematicians who live on-campus make up a non-commutative group

the BBC site invites me to "watch Jeremy Vine's intro" or "start swinging" - I always knew he looked the type

my mathem-o-relative (Hazel Perfect) has an Erdos number of 2! Now I just need to track her down and co-author a paper and all will be super

gosh it's warm!

@mathpunk what would that involve?

@mathpunk so you'd want a git repository with a nice frontend that does word/latex/etc. ?

so domino's hot pizzas are actually hot now. At least they don't give me the squirties any more

Saw mr lomas on the street. He didn't recognise me. Disappointed.

@brittneybean become one of us! all you have to do is answer 20 inane questions about pub etiquette and swear allegiance to an old german

@aperfect ahhhh wowwww that looks good!

@aperfect went well, told some jokes

how is Morning OJ meant to cohabit with Morning Toothbrushing?

Time to use the services of Mr Shavington-Smyth; my chin wants to enjoy the sunny weather.

oh gosh this looks useful: MathOnline — a compendium of free online mathematical references http://bit.ly/czEybK

@mendeley_com does there exist an RSS feed of all my shared collections?

having major rotation/reflection issues with printing this PDF. I want to make an A5 booklet, but learn not from my mistakes each printing.

this rain smells lovely! is the volcano responsible? Full of volcanicity! http://bit.ly/c3HEwQ

I think the old man two doors up fancies me

@kenfodder I imagine you writing these tweets in a room occupied by yourself and one other person.

must stop watching music videos of pretty singers on youtube. Must write maths instead. I think that's how I want my life to be, I think.

Maths Improv sessions on google wave: you ask questions, I write maths. Does that sound fun?

@rockhyrax tweed and elbow pads

@peterrowlett I wish I could attend that first one, I've been trying to use tablet pcs in teaching for years

oh yes, check out the titles available on the co-op registration form: http://bit.ly/9CImXr

@brittneybean Are you even kidding? That is an awful name for one of the best things about childhood

@rockhyrax woolly jumpers seem to be the unisex uniform of choice for mathematicians. Think Boden.

@rockhyrax you are going to classier maths conferences than I am. Maybe I will raise the tone next time round with a zoot suit.

@rockhyrax wearing a zoot suit is one of those ambitions I will never dare fulfil. On reflection, no it would not raise the tone.

just pulled out a snot with the consistency of marmalade.

I can see the fnords and they are in EDI's code! It displays '3*3' as '33'!! INCONCEIVABLE!

I hereby resign my membership of the set of people who can make a caesar salad without completely messing it up

I wonder how the pilot of the Enola Gay felt about becoming the killingest person ever

Kant: "what is beauty?" --- cp: "www.uniqlock.jp"

wow a real turing machine - http://bit.ly/97yICp
but the google ads were "toys for autistic toddlers"??

@Htbaa works for me. Is this pursuant to the thing about a modules listing on the bb.com forums?

@JSlayerUK it is only newspaper tycoons who do that. There are plenty of people in the world for you!

had a dream I went back to school and in assembly they did a big song and dance number about the times rich list. What was that bout?

I know dockers make 36 leg trousers because I own two pairs. So why does their site not go beyond 32L?

@peterrowlett that's exactly the kind of title that gets me funny looks when I explain what I do to non-mathematicians

@AndyOvine sounds like you had a nice day

@MathJax I'm using MathJax and the badge on http://bit.ly/9whxl7

@MathJax cool! I'm making an online exam system using mathjax for newcastle uni as well, but that isn't ready yet. WP was v easy to set up.

@badmachinery try "renard"

I think I might buy some paint

left-handed smileys are the devil's work. #selfhatingsinistromanualist

@trackinthebox I'm not sure if "Boots" by Nancy Sinatra counts, because it is a classy tune

@aperfect you're blogging it wrong

Just gave my seat to an old lady. Forgot that I'm going the long way round the metro line. Hope she gets off soon

hooray, finally! RT @MendeleySupport: ...Lots of little tweaks, but best of all, a new search feature for our catalog: http://bit.ly/d8BaG0

@JSlayerUK I have the same thing but with rocket cars. With me I think it's that I have no presence of mind, so they make me stop and look.

super! my tutee lost the memory stick with all her coursework on it, so I don't have to tutor her today!

square spaghetti is confusing me :(

@nulibsage I don't understand the e-shelf e-books thing. When it says the library will be charged for a loan, will that be passed on to me?

convinced Bill I needed to rewrite most of our code. Not sure how he'll react when I tell him we only need to change like two things

Borrowed a Sony Reader from the library. It is the future, as seen from the 1980s.

Watching armida at the tyneside with my nana. I've never been in a room with so many old people. I can't stand Renee Fleming either!

Well, the ballet bit was good. Only another hour and a half to go!

This blackbird is breaking out the freshest beats to find a mate

@divbyzero graphviz is pretty easy to get into.

@rockhyrax that seems to be what they've defined it to be: http://bit.ly/9JQvDk

@rockhyrax actually, wikipedia is more definitive in re the definition: http://bit.ly/biZb0v

yep so I'm drawing deep-sea cowboys and it is like the best thing I've thought of this year

Yep, these new trousers are pretty special

@kenfodder truth.

@kenfodder pate is addictive

@brittneybean it looks like the london skyline sticker from www.hu2.com , but it's slightly different. I wonder where they got it?

@princesszelda you're getting less picky, yesterday there were like three other criteria. #randomtwitterheckle

Fat flute man has upgraded to a clarinet, and is playing a topical tune - "I can see clearly now the rain has gone"

Is fat flute man's clarinet purchase a green shoot if recovery? Is the recession over? Should I vote Labour tomorrow after all?

@ColinTheMathmo I'm going to the IMA thing and I've registered for mathsjam, but £150 is a bit much - will there be any help for students?

@aperfect that is the single cleverest thing I have seen today, and I'm in the maths department

heading for a third consecutive weekend spent visiting Alnwick

@JSlayerUK tl;dr

there's a leak in the tyne tunnel.. oh goooood, the tories are ruining Britain already!

my mathem-o-blog is now at http://checkmyworking.com

to those interested: have a look at my clever web maths exam thing at http://is.gd/c0csr (still in development)

@quarklet ah yes, so I do. Thanks!

too many Toppers, not enough milk. #stupidsunday

today's Bad Machinery is genius

Sat next to a tiny woman on a small bench. Too early for my brain to cope. Feel like Gulliver

Ok, one person taking their hamster on the metro is odd, but two is a pattern. What's up?

@rockhyrax do such things happen? Does the Big Lottery Fund pay for a massive wheel they can all run in?

in the Brave New Tory Future, I might take up swearing

Opening a sweepstakes on first tory outrage. My bet - disbandment of guide dogs for the blind, national service for all pet dogs instead.

didn't plan the run-up to exam season well; now eating five meals a day to catch up. My role-model is "Hunter" from 90s gladiators.

the SAgE survey has an "agree/disagree/etc" section with a final question where I can make up my own statement to agree with. "I like dogs"?

@theyellowstereo just in time for my emusic subscription renewing! I like the new post layout, too

I bet leather elbow patches would give me a sufficient look of authority to disperse these King's students crowding the platform. Oh well.

is anyone going to the Late Shows?

@Bishnavitch to roots and wings? What's the plan, I couldn't work out from facebook

@JSlayerUK send it to cp

@Gelada this mathematician doesn't know it happened!

The clockword puzzlers are on the metro. They have matching pens and spectacles. Neither one has solved number 11 ('emblem')

@stewartandco how much are the BBQs? I've moved away from jesmond but there's no good butcher here so might come back on a sunny day

New mathem-o-blog post: The computability of a fgoagog (intro) (http://bit.ly/bt49bX)

why does Lui's only start serving breakfast at 9am? I'm hungry now and I need to be in town by 9! A posh bacon roll would have done nicely

"New Labour isn't new any more. What I'm interested in is next Labour. Blairites, Brownites, that's past" - David Miliband is next grammar

@MathJax I can't get \nmid to work in beta 2. It's in AMSsymbols.js, but using it gives an error

@rockhyrax maybe it was an old bee, and it kept forgetting what it came in for. Put out a thimbleful of horlicks and see if it takes a sip

maths sock! http://is.gd/cbz2B

today I have eaten only tomato soup, coca cola, and pepperoni pizza. It's the worst my mouth has ever felt.

thanks to google there are no more neologisms. Well, "increasative" hasn't been used in any of my citations, so I can coin it in this paper

Whoops, stopped in the middle of tesco to prove a lemma. Not sure how long I was stood there, but it seems to have stopped raining.

@peterrowlett fibonacci satire! http://is.gd/cd0vr

@brittneybean they probably don't sell enough ads to do precise targeting yet

@JSlayerUK a = bc + r ; b = cd + s, etc. etc. etc.

@MathJax no I don't, because I'm stupid. Thanks!

@rockhyrax I find it satisfying when wild animals appear more than once. It's like they're real things and not just anonymous automata

@peterrowlett it was ok. I wasn't really there long enough to get the most out of it. Met a few people, but not sure I'll go next year

@Bishnavitch generic skater tweet day?

Three minutes and counting since my code started computing the next prime after 7. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

@rockhyrax I'm building all computable functions up from three primitives - zero, successor, projection. Working towards http://is.gd/cgtWv

Advanced selection methods will produce most virile being in universe: http://is.gd/cguew . We're all (going to be) screwed!

@standupmaths I'm laughing but it is a despairing laugh. That's just awful.

This woman has the biggest possible nose. A caricaturist would draw it very small because going bigger just wouldn't look any different

@rockhyrax it did, but I haven't tried the one after that yet. I might cheat a bit just so I can get the first hundred primes before I die

@rockhyrax I need to encode lists using Godel numbers, which relies on prime factorisations.

yowza, the hot stuff chilli company weren't joking! Trying to think of ways to go to the toilet without touching my winkle now.

@princesszelda why are you thinking about make up at six in the morning?

15,000 proverbs about women from around the world: http://is.gd/ciJse . Some are really pleasant, others are rather mean

At the RHS gardens near harrogate, wearing a Panama hat and deciding to get an allotment. I'm like Benjamin Button with lifestyle choices

@GreyAlien lots of chiasmus in your tweets lately. Appreciated!

In gbk!!!!!

went to a different country today - Yorkshire. Feel inadequate and provincial now

cleaned my patio very thoroughly and swept all the old leaves away, and now my neighbour's just thrown their clippings over the wall. Poo.

@alexbellos so jealous! It is my life's ambition to own one, and they're only getting rarer

@JSlayerUK well, I never had MMR. Is that anecdotal enough to persuade you?

my new can opener is magic. I don't like having paranormal kitchen utensils. It opened a can and I don't know how it did it and I'm scared.

@rockhyrax aww, I could've got a Zuul reference in, couldn't I? Phooey!

just found out I bought two 3-litre bottles of Summer Fruits squash instead of apple and blackcurrant because I'm colourblind. Might die.

@alexbellos extremely long metafilter thread about your Tuesday boy article: http://bit.ly/aAyvl7

@divbyzero so you have to be at the right place at the right time for the Klein bottle opener to work?

@nususteam how are the recycling percentages worked out?

@Gelada it's more like maths gives a very satisfying definition of truth

@Gelada well, it's better than "feely" truth. The idea that you can say "I know this fact, so what else do I know as a consequence"? is good

@rockhyrax so what is the deal with hyraces?

@peterrowlett have a play about with xThink Calculator: http://bit.ly/cfkeui . Windows 7 does maths input in Word as well if you've got it.

My flat has eccentric light fittings. Who knows where to get a lightbulb that looks like an onion with Marge Simpson's hairdo? It's dark :(

@rockhyrax sleep in on leap days? If there's an extra day, one should be able to waive the right to use it.

exam runtime is now under 2000 lines! Hooray for simple code! Boo to whatever the other guy was trying to do!

@brittneybean so I looked up the paper that's based on, and I thought "their maths is very bad", and then I saw it was written by economists

it's possible that Janelle Monae is the best woman. Initial assessments point towards yes http://is.gd/cA0mp

@JSlayerUK does it count as part of the Palace?

@JSlayerUK whoops, that was what I was going to have tonight. Maybe I'm a bit depressed though

@JSlayerUK I agree 120%. The extra 20% is because Alice Lowe has joined the cast and she is so nice

I have learned tonight: proper cajun seasoning is in no way a substitute for fajita spices; old el paso guacamole tastes like late trains

@rockhyrax trains that arrive late - disappointing, but just what you expect, really

@standupmaths sudoku *is* the 'more than' puzzle - it used to be all crosswords

@aperfect that logo is very bad, and what they do to it further down the page is worse

who has Red Dead Redemption for the xbox? This internet ain't big enough for all of us, let's have a shootout tonight.

@richieb85 my gamertag is ChristianP, I will be playing online later

the thing that EDI have spent two years not knowing how to do I have just done in 2 hours! MY MIND IS EXPLODING DUE TO TOO MUCH GENIUS

@rockhyrax EDI are the company up in Scotland we're working with, making online maths exams using SCORM. I've made randomised questions work

@rockhyrax we don't even get round people looking at the answers in the page source! The plan is to have locked-down PCs for real exams.

@rockhyrax no, C/Basic-like syntax. That was the other clever thing I did earlier in the year! It renders as latex though, through mathjax

mathematicians: how do you think one should LaTeX an integer times a fraction? 3 \times \frac{1}{2}, or, 3(\frac{1}{2}), or what?

@rockhyrax still didn't understand the hyrax love, but now remember koalas have same effect on me. Might go and find my Koala Kate cassette

@rockhyrax this http://is.gd/cGcFH (unhelpful link). My dad brought it back fro Oz when I was tiny. It was my favourite cassette!

@badmachinery the whole time this story's been on I didn't realise "good boy" could refer to a dog! You've made this maths phd feel v.stupid

@rockhyrax I can't in good faith join your group, can't see the appeal of hyraces, esp. compared to koalas. Also I can't write on your wall?

@brittneybean @aperfect I await the arrival of the first hands-free video call kit

@rockhyrax well, it's greek, and 'hyraces' got past peer review: http://bit.ly/biINom

@rockhyrax English is changing - viz. 'indexes' vs 'indices' is 3.6m to 2m on google scholar. Scholars are writing this! Scholars!

@rockhyrax PS no clever retorts about the verb 'index'

@rockhyrax men, geese and people everywhere are insulted!

sausage beans sausage beans sausage beans SAUSAGE BEANS SAUSAGE BEANS

@aperfect that looks creepy just referring to dad as @eqdynamics. Twitter should automatically rewrite '@dad' to your dad's actual username

considering writing "EDI are bad at everything" in morse code using tabs and spaces somewhere in my sourcecode.

looking back, three jacket potatoes topped with a can of tuna, a lot of cheese and three rashers of bacon was never a realistic proposition

@peterrowlett what do you know about adaptive assessment in online exams? That's my project next year for this SCORM thing at Newcastle

@peterrowlett I think so. We might be gathering some people together to discuss standards. I can't invite you, but would you be interested?

@peterrowlett okie doke, kein Problem. Have I shown you what I'm making? Example at http://is.gd/cKyZU - does that interest you?

@ColinTheMathmo that's really interesting!

Sitting in on Robin Johnson recording revision videos. Never meet your heroes.

Confused a foreigner on the metro. To be fair, he confused me first. I think he got off at the right stop, so it was karma-neutral.

@EATng does the foodie walk start at the castle keep behind the cathedral? My mum's convinced it starts at the civic centre

@alexbellos tell him to sort out the camerawork in his video lectures. We've been watching his quantum computing series in our seminars

ahhh itv commentator man don't talk about the "german gene kicking in" when they start winning, especially not when the player is polish

@aperfect truth spoken to twitter

Michael Schumacher needs a visit from Supernanny

gosh, it might be time to download a matmos album. Especially as emusicsmas is two days away and I still have 14 downloads.

@JSlayerUK you're winding yourself up. Distract yourself - compose a limerick about lembit opik, factorise a big number, take deep breaths

♺ @qikipedia: Today's B word: Beckets. The little loops on a pair of trousers or a raincoat for a belt to pass through

@brittneybean very slick! but: the maths on crops seems odd, and I didn't build a road properly in the tutorial but it carried on anyway

@brittneybean refreshed the page and it got stuck in an infinite loop of clouds when I clicked "start playing"

I have exactly 13000 emails in my inbox! I will celebrate with Frosties

turning the volume up for a good song, walking across the room to do some work, a bad song comes on after: unfortunate.

using my telephone voice to comment on the LRB blog

@standupmaths for the foreseeable future, non-checked shirts are not allowed, by order of the management

I have found the one phrase, out of all possible phrases, most likely to amuse a 12-year-old: "sperm whale faeces absorb gas"

@JSlayerUK oh, so true! You are like a modern day Peter Kay. Please tell me about more things I remember so I can laugh!

@JSlayerUK I didn't have enough characters left to say not sarcastic! It genuinely did make me laugh

@GreyAlien what do you recommend for "unpronounceable" and "unspellable"?

@GreyAlien the correct answer was, "pretend you're Irish"

@brittneybean your flattr button on trackinthebox says "error"

Walking behind a trendier version of me. This isn't looking good. Oh, he's stopped to look at some fashionable clothes. The gap is growing!

@JSlayerUK which app? beebplayer?

someone call BP and tell them to forget about underwater robots - what I just dropped in the toilet will solve their problem

@brittneybean I thought that site was about the NUFC player and got very confused.

@alexbellos I'd never thought of using football matches to check the birthday paradox. It's almost exactly the right no of people!

would I regret buying one of these paper birds? http://is.gd/cWChn

@aperfect I don't know, previous bird-themed purchases have provided satisfaction

why did I even bother buying cheap Tesco soup?

@alexbellos I'm not a statistician, but analysing shared birthdays after the first round of group games will cause educative problems

the Tories' impression of what is fair is vastly different to mine

about to make it rain on www.alternativemeats.co.uk

@NUSusTeam so it's something like recycled tonnes as a percentage of recyclable tonnes, or as a percentage of total waste?

taking a shower shouldn't push the limits of perception, but every morning deciding how hot to make it prompts a metaphysical conundrum

@JohnChrisJames good luck JJ! Will you be uploading pictures anywhere?

hoeren Sie mir und legen Sie Ihre Sombreros auf: BURRITOZEIT BEGINNT JETZT

@JSlayerUK eat food until there is space in the fridge for the cake

spent two hours shooting hundreds of federales on the xbox only for some 'dude' to shoot me in the face seconds before I got the achievement

25!!! ♺ @BBCWeatherNorth: Temperatures up to 25C/77F by Sunday. Han B

A chocolatier has opened on the high street next to the working men's club. Very posh! Will try some when I get back from my walk.

ok amazon, if you insist, I will buy the Taschen edition of Byrne's Euclid for 40% less than the RRP.

@Bishnavitch fight the good fight

@hellobuglers to be fair Capello was hiding tactical advice in one of their clues: "Rasta friend greets Pauline's son (4-3-3)"

@brittneybean cripes, that sounds like something out of the 19th century!

@Bishnavitch what time does the film start? Having dinner with my mum tonight

@Bishnavitch doesn't matter, I've now got to get my own dinner so will be at yours at 8:30. Can I use your parking space?

@Bishnavitch I'm outside your flat!

@brittneybean I stared at the iwi logo too long and now it looks like the dude on the right is giving a huge backhand slap to the left guy

It's here! http://tweetphoto.com/29834585

@standupmaths aah! I just found out the word for that a few days ago and in a massive case of irony I've completely forgotten it!

Why have I had a Rae Spoon song stuck in my head for two days? I don't even know the words, just some of the vowels

oh man it's all going right for me right now! Chile con queso, SCORM object reporting scores properly, theorem proved, cowboys shot. Fab!

@rockhyrax watermark, that's the ticket

The entertainer is on the metro. He goes "ding!" when the train does. Everybody is laughing. What a guy.

@fumbleweeds what are cereal boxes made of over there? I have literally never had this problem.

@rockhyrax the latter

grigory perelman got 99 problems but the poincare conjecture ain't one

@rockhyrax you're coming round, I knew you would!

@aperfect apparently you need to go and see this http://www.twitvid.com/VE0Q3

writing latex on the patio. It isn't really working for me.

so I'm supporting Germany but I don't like ozil's face. What to do?

@aperfect OH?

@rockhyrax yes, but I forgot to close an environment and now my deck chair is all wet :(

What kind of lazy barber is closed on a Monday? I'm starting to look like cousin It

switched my paper to sans-serif. Not sure how my supervisor will react, but I'm prepared to fight for it.

@JSlayerUK no, they get one vote which will decide the winner. Or, everyone gets candidates-1 votes, winners assumed to stay with same party

@JSlayerUK hup Holland hup!!!

Made the correct choice re coming home before the rain really starts

somebody, like, lunge at me with a knife while explaining the definition of nilpotent to me so it sticks in my memory this time

Another thing only emotional trauma will imprint on my memory is the order of the junctions on the A184

@rockhyrax so not radically different from the current situation

the whole chain of events leading to me sitting down to eat my dinner in front of the football has failed to happen. I'm hungry and confused

@peterrowlett haven't read this but here you go http://arxiv.org/abs/0803.0150

@rockhyrax it certainly makes them drawees if they ever do open again

@MarcusduSautoy hey! you! marcus! we have got to talk / your convoluted verse structure / tends to prose as the length of the poem increases

@MarcusduSautoy exactly 140 characters, or almost rhymes if you change start to "er, dork/ author!" but I didn't want to call you a dork

@MarcusduSautoy never mind, just noticed I missed out the 3. Will stop spamming you now.

@aperfect is that where those dirigible penguins were?

The rain has made the midgies hatch, and this spider has caught so many I worry it hasn't git enough brains to know when to stop eating

ok real mathematicians, forget pi day, we can celebrate pigeon-hole day! http://is.gd/dndrG

"The gourmet chocolate pizza company" - you couldn't make it up! It's the middle classes gone mad!

@Htbaa are you just trying to wear out your hash key?

@alexbellos aha! time for me to dig this up: http://is.gd/drwLS I find it very useful as an explanation of the general idea

@brittneybean http://is.gd/drBZt

take that, bag of cookies! There was only room for one of us in this town, but happily there was room for all of you in my tummy

@nulibsage I have yet to encounter a Springer article in a journal the uni has subscribed to. Are they just too expensive?

"tarski" and "high school algebra problem" is the biggest juxtaposition in maths I can think of http://tinyurl.com/3898t45

@GreyAlien oh no! I even tried telling facebook I was a girl to get rid of the tacky dating ads. Is there no safe configuration?

@Gelada @standupmaths does hornby sound enough like corby to make the obvious pun?

@nulibsage no, I know which journals I want, but we don't subscribe to them!

New mathem-o-blog post: Computable categories (http://bit.ly/cmjjvs)

@nulibsage I haven't been keeping a list, but "lecture notes in computer science" (1980) was the last one

@Htbaa it's good to see he's reaching out to foreigners? That's a first step?

@Electrokittie but Saturday Saturday Saturday!!!

@Electrokittie !!! That is a brilliant idea

@Htbaa yeah, we banned him from coming over here